Seasons

Hai all

~~We had joy We had fun We had seasons in the season But the hills that we climbed Were just season out of time~~ oryte.. m gonna stop here coz dont wanna expose the best talent that I've. kui3 =)

Here I would like to share my views on certain issue. M juz wonder, are human being are bond with the season too? I mean, does people also has season? or we can say people are up to date? I dunno but based on my own observation, most of the people are following others or talking about the same things on certain particular range of time.

Lets me get straight to the point. Look! People only talk and discuss about it when it is a hot issues on that particular time. When another story arise, the previous issues was left behind. Did u realize it? For example, issues of Afghanistan, issues of mavi marmara, issues of badminton, story of FIFA, and story of lost kids. The newest issues now is about football match between Indonesia and Malaysia and double decker bus accident. Believe me, they will be left behind once there are another story arise.

What can I say, people dont have their stand. Oryte. I know people need to be up to date but do u have to follows others? I dunno. Wat can I say, people behavior n interest are like waves of the ocean. It keep smashing the beach and makes a peaceful sound. Did u realize, it changes the structure of the beach?? Dats how peoples are. They create a waves which good for certain parties like reporters, sellers, and etc. But it wont be long and the waves had change the community. It would be fine if changing to the betterment but what if it happens vice versa??

Here I would like to ask u to think. Are u up to date bcoz of following others or bcoz u are really into that issues? As for me, I would like to learn n know as many things as I could bcoz I hate a situation where people are playing around with me. The situation I hate the most is when people make me feel and look stupid in front of the others. Here she comes. The egoist gurl!! =P

p/s: Its good to be up to date BUT why should u left the history. People may see u as an expert in ur field BUT u should know, there are peoples who see u as noob in their field. Hence, learn as many things as u can while u have afford to do it.

pss: Congrats to Malaysian football team for the games. M not congrats u bcoz u guys had won the game but m congrats u for the great games and afford that u shows. To all Malaysian sportsmen n sportswomen, keep moving forward and strive for excellent. No matter wat happened, juz ignore the public. They are proud to see u won but they are too shame to accept ur loose. Dats how people is.

Past Present and Future

Hai ol

Wat m going to write is totally crap. If u feel uneasy with it, u r welcome to leave this page.

I was attracted with a quote, "Life gonna have full of challenges, when obstacles arise, change ur direction to reach ur goal, not the decision to get there". Thats life. From my perspective, I never know which way m going n why m going to that way until m in. Mean, m juz going to which way I want based on wat my heart say.

Some people will say that m kinna emotional coz m following wat my heart say. Fyi, my heart will owez think about others instead of myself (perhaps). Wat diz ppl will feel. Wat dat ppl may think. I feel sad or happy if I do this to him or her. Sometimes I feel like m living in my own world where m creating something to ease my heart. M creating my own excuses and reasons to ease myself. Although its work, but when the ugly truth appear, it will smash on ur face.

Wat happened. I move on. I keep moving forward and leave the past. Even, I feel afraid to look back at my past. However, m not having amnesia. Sometimes, it appears without I want too and reminds me on wat happened. Thats why, I need something/someone from present to pull me back to the real world. Its happened in the other way around. Past pulling me back and the present didnt pulling me but pushing instead. Feel like learning a grammar..hahaha.

p/s: to my past, present and future, I owez being me. Perhaps u may see m changing but if u see deep inside of me, m still me.

Salam Ma'al Hijrah

Hai...

I would like to wish ol muslim around the world, Salam Ma'al Hijrah (Let's Change). Its a new year for us. We had move to a new year. Wat we had went through take them as lessons, wat we'll go through take them as challenges. Wat does awal muharram ( 1st day in 1st month of muslim calendar) mean to u?? For me, it brings a lot of meaning.

As we look from history of Prophet Muhammad, he had move from Mekkah to Madinah on this day. He had made a lot of sacrificies. He had tried his best to ensure Islam is delivered to us n to our next generation until the last day. As I live for about 19 years, m still thinking, wat had I done to repay him? To show how appeciate I am for his effort?

Later, I would like to share a poem. M sooo sorry coz the poem was in Malay ( plan to translate it to English but afraid it may sound funny). Last but not least, salam awal muharram to ol. Wish u to strive for the bettermen. Dont forget to recite the Doa' for early and end of the year.

p/s: Perhaps I wouldn't diz worry if I dream about u once. The problem is, I dream about u twice in a row and both is a nightmare. (^_^)v

Wrap up for July 2010

Hai

Wat happened diz semester? Ermm everything went smoothly. My studies are getting better but I skip a lot of class. sigh sigh. I dont like it. Ermm for the first time ever, m close wit my GA. Mean we discuss a lot. Its weird for me of coz. Overall, I luv my lecturers and my subjects for diz semester. Thats wat I learn directly from class. For diz semester I luv Corporate Ethics. It is the 1st subject that I luv. It makes me think and realize about the real worlds.

We go into sth dat I learn outside of the class. I learn to pretend. It was hard at the beginning but m getting used to it. How do u feel when inside, u feel like wanna punch somebody but at the same time, the outside u are showing a nice face to them? How do u feel when u have to show a sweet face but the truth is u are angry at them? feeeuuuhh~~ it must be tired rite? But thats life. Not ol ppl can accept the real u accept they are willing to accept it.

The truth is, diz semester I talk less. ( I guess). I kept sooo many things inside. However, thx to my twin. She know how I feel without telling her wat Ive went through. Perhaps its sound lame but I really2 appreciate it. She may cry when I feel want to but I cant. She may laugh when I feel want to but I cant. She also know how sick I am. Thank you so much.

Lastly, I wanna thank to those who had make me cry, laugh and enjoy. I didnt blame those who make me cry bcoz that makes my life. Just to let u know sth. When I keep quiet doesn't mean m agree but dats mean. . . .

p/s: People say, don't judge the book by its cover. I realize. The book which look nice outside doesn't really be nice inside.

Lesson From A Bird

Hye~

Kinda weird coz m updating my blog during a day. Ermmm m juz can't wait to share diz story. The story begin when I was walking towards IRC. While arguing (debating actually..lol) with him, suddenly a black, small and red eyes bird appear. Weird ah??

Nthng special about the bird actually but the bird had teach me sth. The bird's wing injured and it cannot fly. It try to fly but keep falling down. It looks funny when the bird fall on its head but its must be soooo hurtful. It keeps trying and keep falling. U know wat?? Although it can't fly, but it jumps bit by bit and try to fly. Still it keeps falling down. U mustn't believe it but yess, it makes a move. It moves from one point to another n its quite far.

Sooo~~wat can u learn from that little bird?? Although u can't go high up or score as much as other but at least u've to try ur best to be better from the previous u . Can u imagine wat will happen to that little bird if it didn't try to fly or even jump?? It can't go anywhere or even worse, it will die there. Another thing is, juz wanna let u know that, its hurtful when u wanna try to help but u don't know how to. Its so sad to juz look at it keep falling and trying but u cannot do anything.

That's all from me. I hope this story will make u think.

p/s: a motivational story during an exam week..ah?? m I high motivated enaf?? naaaa~~

Anything Im Not

Hye! How were things going on?? Better?? Bad?? Or Mixed up?? Arghhh!! Wit diz kind of weather and quiet environment make me feel upside down. =_=” aigooooo Oryte. Let me divide my story into 3 categories: study, emotional and quick update.

STUDY.
OMG!! M in final exam mood!! Aaaaa~~~ can u imagine how was it? Kroh kroh. Juz finished with my 1st paper. LOL. Health Safety & Environment paper. I don’t really know wat I answered. =S Answered it based on my “writing skills”. LOL. Sooo m preparing myself for another 5 papers to go. Gambatte!! Caiyok2!! To ol my frenz, ol da best keyh! Aim high, though u can’t reach the moon but at least u fall on the star.

QUICK UPDATE
For next semester, I was bound with several commitments. For club and events of coz. C’mon! M a eventholic (same as workaholic ) LOL. Ermm m also working on a storyline for a game. Weeehuu~~ m in multimedia line. Quite excited. Hehe =P

EMOTION
Hmmmm~~ diz is the critical part. As usual, the same thing happened. Anythng people do/say will straightly go into my heart. M kinna use to it. So, wat can I do is juz keep silent as my 1st policy for diz semester is silent is better than words. Keep control myself. Arrghhh~~ tired of it.

Another thing is about the possibility of my past bad history to occur again. Lalalalala~~ why must it happen again?? M sooooo sorry. For diz time around, I can’t fight. M effortless. I feel weak. Ive lost soooo many energy during last battle. Juz don’t wanna get involve with the same battle again! LOL Juz kindly reminder, if some1 in, I’ll back off. Sound selfish but m tired with it. When I see it, I will juz sigh n smile. =)

p/s: I watched Megamind. Honestly I learn more than a lot from that story. One of it is, no matter how hard we try our best for others, they can’t see wat we keep inside. Either they are blind or pretend that they didn’t see it. (Taken from Megamind character). Feel like Megamind suite my personality (not appearance) =)

I wish

Feeeuuuuuhhhh~~ After went through sooooo many things, I have made a conclusion. B4 dat, wanna share wit u about wat had happnd to me diz couple of weeks. We start wit my study. Project submission, a line of test and Project Presentation. Unstable mood. Get angry with no reason. Get heart feeling with EVERYONE. Enaf with it. Enaf with complaining.

I should stop saying "I wish". Stop saying "I hope" and "Wat If". Those words lead to frustration. I realize it when I watched a video about Nick Vujicic. I keep complaining y sth like diz, sth like dat and at the end m hurt and frustrated.

Now, I should appreciate wat I've and learn to accept wat I should have although I dont want to. Trying to be the better me. (^_^)v

p/s: thx to u coz being patient wit who I am. The headache me. huhuhu

Smash

Remember diz. Dont let the emotion controls u but u've to control them. aahhhh~~ it was tiring. Fight wit our own feeling. It was ok when we can make things clear.Perhaps our feeling start to accept the fact and we r in rational state. But when we receive another smash! feeeuuuhhh~~ dush dush~~ erkkk~~ we collapsed.

Receiving the same momentum of smash make me tired. weeeeeeeeee~~~ straight go into my heart. please! take 5 needed here~~ hello~~ can u hear me~~ huhuhu.. i was wondering, i wanna smash back, i'll get harder smash. I wanna avoid it, i'll loose mark. So, wat should I do?

p/s: m learning to be stronger but not harder, to be softer but not weaker. however, i dont know how to =_="

Crazy

Owh...U've made my day..u drive me crazy..bcoz of u, my day start at nite..bcoz of u had made my life even more complicated...it was soooooo nice of u...my life turn up side down. Everything jumble up juz bcoz of u..

Juz one more thing. I wanna let u know, no matter how nice and sweet u r, u owe me! Fine I will let u control me diz time. Fine u win! M back of. Remember diz, dont get tooo happy tooo sooon. Juz wait until the exam week. I will teach u a lesson.

p/s: its not for anyone.

Why?

Please change your mode into disappointed mode in order to understand the post.

Have u ever encounter a situation where by u feel dat u r the victim of the situation? Perhaps never. Naaaa~~ let’s make it short.

M wonder..did I ever disturb the other ppl relationship? This is not the first but more than three times its happened. Its kinna offense. M not going to tell u the exact story but juz wanna tell u dat m disappointed with it.

M happy with the progress but I realize the presence of me will ruin everything.

M sorry to say but the best way is making a distance. I dunno how long the distance will be.

p/s: perhaps u don’t know how the feeling was. Juz imagine how the feeling is when excited changed to upset

A Letter

Dear you,

How r u?? Hope u r fine though I know u r not. Actually I wanna ask wat hppnd to u?? Looks like u r not in a good shape. Don't u know dat m owez looking at you without u realizing it?

Do you realize wat had hppnd to urself for diz fews weeks? M soooo worry about u. Don't u feel well? Headache, vomit, fever, hard to breath, etc. Wat diz? Don't you take care of urself? U owez having headache. Why? Again I wanna say, m worry about you. M not only worry about your health but also ur study. I heard dat you owez skip class. Why? Don't you remember your goal for diz sem?

I tell you wat. You r too pampering urself. Sorry no offense. Please! Be stronger. Fight the feeling. Fight the sickness. Fight as much as you can. I feel sad looking at you at one side but I can't do anything. I feel bad when I juz can look at you from a distance but can't do anything for you.

I hope you will feel better after you read my letter. No matter wat, m owez here looking at you and owez be there to support you. Hopefully, one day you will realize the presence of me in your life. You will realize there is some1 at one side of u is worry about you.

Best Regard,

Another side of You

Kids

Fuuuuuuuuhh~~~ looks like my blog kinna dusty....hahahahaha...sooo how was thing's going on?? getting bttr?? worst?? or nth much diff???

Wanna ask u guys..wat is the most interesting facilities at my campus??? yeaaa rite...lab, full equip wit high tech machine, wat else?? Beautiful garden scenery..relax n peaceful environment..wat else?? ermm did u ever thing about lift??? aaaaa~~ dats wat m going to share with u....

I spent my last weekend with 24 kids from somewhere around here. It was a superbly great experience. For those who know me, they know dat I didn’t really know how to handle kids. M kinna serious n strict. No wonder I was well-known as a “akak yang garang (fierce sister)” by the kids there.

To bring them here, we’ve to get their parents’ permission. So there we are gathering parent’s permission. 5 of us were responsible for dat. Can u imagine how xcted the kids are?? They r following us here n there juz to make sure their name are in the list. They wanna come to my campus.

We went to each n every house n gets the permission. There is a hope in their eyes dat they can join us. However, there is one boy whose his name is not in the list. He keeps following us. We keep saying we can’t bring him. At the end of the day, he frustrated n start to act weirdly (he is trying to get our attention). He is hurting himself. The things getting worst when his frenz laughing and teasing at him. Soooo, to make things clear I go to him n xplain. Finally he starts to cry. For the 1^st time ever m wiping some1 tears. I dunno how to make u guys understand how did I feel but wat can I say, I feel like wanna cry.

After discussed with my colleague, we decided to take the boy to join us. I went to his house. He is not come from the high level of family. He has a simple house. The way he welcomes me to his house is not like most of ppl dat I knew. He respects me n welcoming me warmly to his house. The things make me feel worst when his mom asked me to fill up the permission form for her. Perhaps the form is complicated to be understood. Sooo, dats how the family is. His mom apologize me coz didn’t serve me anything n even she say thank you soooo many time coz m visiting their house. Perhaps they r poor in wealth but they r rich wit humanities.

So, last weekend the kids came here to my campus. The experience handling them is sth dat I can’t get from books. Now I understand why they are acting such way. Thank God they didn’t swim at the lake or catching the fish by their hand. If not, wat should I answer to their parents??? I still remember one of the mother ask me to take care of her boy. She said “I can allow my son but u please takes care of my son”. OMG. I feel like it’s a heavy responsibility for me. I’ve to care 24 kids which meant 24 responsibilities. Ooooo myyyy!!!~~~

Soooo we had sooo much fun here..We played n watched movie together. M juz wonder. When ppl getting older, they r getting more serious. They said they wanna be more matured. Is it so?? Matured ppl cant have fun?? Really?? I dunno. Personally, I luv being a kid. Obviously I came from a pampered family sooo I luv attention from some1 dat I luv. Hang on!! I luv when ppl giving me his attention but only from some particular ppl only. Helllooooo~~ I hate paparazzi okeyh~~!!

As a conclusion, doing charity jobs had stabilized my life. I wanna be in a corporate (high class/ versatile) lifestyle but I still didn’t forget where did I came from.

p/s: no matter how high u fly, never forget the roots. No matter how fast u runs, never forget to walk.

Holiday

Hye ol!!

Weeee~~ tmr m going back to Johor.. nice ah?? Cant wait for it!!! siyesly!!! hehehe I misz the moment when ppl care about me. Scold me when I didnt eat. Warn me when I sleep late. Nag at me when m down. Obviously, teasing me when I woke up late. Opsss~~ bad habit..hehehe..

Ermm..I didnt pack my stuff yet.Perhaps later. aaaaa~~~ m working on my so called "mini-thesis". Oh God~~ chaiyok2!!! hahaha..

I would like to take diz opportunity to thx to my brother who are doing his practical now. Thx for ur concern for diz 1 whole day coz worry about how m going to go to Mdn Gpng. From morning till I update u wit the latest status. Plus thx coz praying dat tonite will be another black out so dat I'll be scared to stay in room ALONE. =_=" I'll inform u anythng via phones.

Promise (^_^)v Sooo no worry.

Then to my best buddy 1. Thx for ur suggestion for asking me to go to the field and scream. I like it BUT perhaps I'll use it some other times. =P About ur another suggestion, ermmm I'll think about it. U knew me. Thx coz at least u make me laugh though I've pretend to. =_="

Then to my best buddy 2. I luv u gurlz..hahaha..if God will, we'll meet next Tuesday. Story Mory okeyh??? Thx coz texting me n give me some advices. Luv u soo much.. =)

Then to my "granny" here. Thx for ur treat. hehehe..after diz no more break fast but breakfast togther..okeyh?? u knew me deep inside. Thx a lot =)

To ol (included ppl who I dont know but they know me) happy holiday!!! Enjoy the Hari Raya. Appreciate ppl around u while they r still in ur circle. Who knows, perhaps diz is ur last Hari Raya together.

p/s: Mimomimo I'll misz u soooooooooo much.When I come back, we'll have a date togther..okeyh?? To my Buncit..take care here.. I cant bring u along diz time..sooo sad =(

Hold My Hand

weeeee~~ hye ol!! I knew u misz me..ahaks..here I am..M back..weeee~~ (^_^)v

Ermmm u know wat?? Diz year Ramadhan is the best Ramadhan I ever had. Though tmr is 21st of Ramadhan n we still have another 9 day to go BUT its really2 meaningful to me. Everything is difference. Starting from 1st of Ramadhan until today. I wont regret if diz is my last Ramadhan.

I wanna share wit u about my activity during last weekend. As stated in my fb status, m off to Kampung Redang Punggor, Teluk Intan. I was involved with RECMO-9. It was a great experience I ever had. It is a home-stay program. Can u imagine how do I look like??? M kinna person who hard to mix wit other ppl. I didnt speak much. Sooo~~ wat do u think?? Naaaaa~~ u r wrong..hahaha.. I can make myself feel comfortable there. Ermmm enaf wit it n lets go deep into sth dat may touch ur heart.

In my adopted family's house, my adopted father taking care of her mother. He has maid. His maid will help him. His mother is having a strok. When I look at her, she's remind me of my own grandmother. When I look at her I can see dat she is lonely and wanna share many things but she cant. The most hardest thing is, she is crying when we say we wanna go back. She's not screaming but we can see her eyes is full of tears n drop through her chicks. When I look at her make me think of sth. How will she be if no 1 is taking care of her?? Look. She's fully depends on other ppl. Eat, bath, everythng. Lets say ppl didnt give her food than wat happn?? M wonder, how will I be if m in her place?

During the module I've 1 group members from the villagers. She is nice. She has a fair skin n gentle. She's humble n she has almost every single thing dat malay gurlz should have. However she juz went to school until she is 14 years old bcoz of health problem. She is difference. Her younger sister is taking care of her. She doesnt acts as her age. U get wat I meant?? I didnt ask much about her past but m juz proud of her. ermm..Sth dat touch my heart is during 1 module called " Impianku". She has a wonderful dream.

During the module also I was touched by the kids's dream. One of them wanna be a motor cross racer. He draws the picture of motorcycle. I still remember how does it looks like. Another one, he draws a picture of a man inside of sampan n he is fishing. U know wat he told us?? He said dat " It was the best thing I wanna do bcoz it is my hobby. My late father bring me to go for fishing".

During closing ceremony I be the MC...hahaha...Ok fine dats not the point actually. RECMO gave the orphanage some donation. I feel touch when look at them BUT ive to contrl myself. (Dont wanna be an emotional MC..hahaha). They look so happy. Its hard to say in words but it was a beautiful moment.

We go to 30 August. ermm wat hppnd?? I was involved wit International Iftar. My frenz from Independence Day invited Orphanage and Poor. Again!!! M crying in front of the VIP. Ok fine! m the PnP gurl..hahaha..I asked my colleague to replace me for a while. I ate wit the orphanage. They asked me (in malay) " Sis, lets come to our house n make some activity". waaaa~~~ tacing2..huhuhu.. I dunno. I cant look into their eyes. I feel sad.

As conclusion, I juz wanna share wit u one song sing by Maher Zain entitled Hold My Hand. Hope, my story will make u realize about ur kind heart. Quoted from the Song " We Share The Same Bright Sun The Same Round Moon Why Dont We Share The Same Love"

p/s: Love others as how u love urself

Ethics

Hye ol !!!

Feel like wanna share sth. I guess I found answers for my questions in my class..Yeaaa rite..seems like m applying wat I learnt in class into my life rather than onto a piece of paper (exam). hehehe. U know me rite?? Speak less Think More (^_^).

M taking Corporate Ethics. Supposedly m applying ol theories dat I learnt into business but it seems like suite my life bttr =_=" hahahaha..Though I juz learnt 3 theory of ethics, but I like it. Yeaaa~~ its a dry subject but interesting.

Juz wanna share a few points from my class. Ive learnt 2 theory of ethics: Kantian and Utilitarian. In order to classify them depend on 2 things: look at the consequences or look at the action itself. For both theory have difference perspective. Kantian think about others n not ourself but utilitarian think about ourself n how it effect others. I owez asking around, do we should be selfish? This theory answered my question.

For Kantian it has 2 view point: put ourself in shoes of receiver and never treats other ppls as a means but as an end. This apply to high level of organization. M sorry but no offense. This only wat I think n m not totally rite. You may have ur own views. Sometimes, ppl at the top didn't understand ppl at the bottom. Get wat I meant? Its true bos / superior can give instructions to employee/ subordinate. However, do u realize the way u give and instruction?? U r saying like they r ur slave. C'mon~~ Instruction, Order, Ask and Begging is diff. Can't u differentiate it?

Lastly, Theory of Right. It has a lot of points but m juz wanna focus on Aristotle's Theory of Virtue Right. Wat is virtue?? It meant character trait that manifest itself in habitual action. We cant change in a blink of eyes. It takes time. Dont expect ppl may change as wat u wanna them to be. No one is perfect neither me. Dats wat m telling u now. We cant force love and attitude but we can nurture them. We cant expect ppl to love us in a minute..Hellooooo~~ its not a fairy tale okeyh~~hahahaha..Same goes to attitude. Another point, he said dat, we should determine moderate character. Diz answered my question " How to differentiate between arrogant and courage?" The answer is, if u r tooooo courage, u r arrogant. If u r not courage u r coward. Be moderate by juz being courage.

Enaaafff!!!toooo many theories in the early of the day....hahahaha..ok fine..I stop here...

p/s: I found it is a nice says " We can juz bring the horse to the river BUT we cant force the horse to drink". Wat I think is, we don't know whether the horse is thirsty or not. So, y should we bring it there? Yeaa we cant force it. If it didnt thirsty, y should it drink?? rite?? Y must blaming the horse?? U should know the horse bttr. Whether it thirsty or not. Know it bttr..

Attention!!!

Sir Yes Sir!!!

hehehe...Hye ol!!

Sometimes I wish I can go to some place where no one know me..Give me a break plz~~ need my space...It was okeyh if ppl juz smile n wave. I hate catching ppl eyes.. I prefer a low profile act but high profile personal..get my point??

M kinna secretive. Hard for me to share sth personal. U know y?? Bcoz I dont wanna let ppl know my weaknesses coz dat may effect me in term of life.

p/s: Really hate the situation when ppl talk behind my back...

Speak Through Pictures

I May Look Like Diz b4

But Then I Realize

No Matter Wat.. Keep

Coz U Look

If U Didn't

p/s: Pictures tell everything

A Stupid Tree

Hye Ol!!

Wanna share wit u a story about a tree. A Stupid Tree.

Hello there. My name is Mr. Trunk. M a tree. I was planted at the garden. It was a nice and cool garden. Its really comfortable to be here. With the green scenery, birds singing beautiful melody and the sounds of water are flowing from the river.Its nice rite?? Hang on. Dats not the end yet. I was pampered by the human. They really take care of me. They know wat they should do when falls, autumn, spring and summer. Enaf water, enaf supplement and even I was given a treatment when I was affected by the disease / virus.

However, that's the old story. I was moved to somewhere else. Some place that I never imagine of. The place is more or less like previous garden but its not the same. Yea.. There is river flowing, birds, winds but its not the same. Sooo based on human laws, we've to adapt ourself with the environment instead of keep complaining2 n complaining. Hence, here I am. I try to adapt with the new environment.

Time goes by and m getting used with the environment. Howeva, m kinna misz my previous garden. I keep moving on in the new garden. U know wat Ive learnt a lot in a new garden.

I used to help ppl. Dats my purpose. I used to be the shelter, the place for them to take a nap, for kids to climb up and fall down. Without they realize, m the one who hold the land from sliding. Dats me. M happy when ppls are happy. Dats my nature. I breath in carbon dioxide ( acidic but not tooo acidic) n release oxygen for ppls. I take the bad n release the good. Dats me.

Howeva, sometimes ppl dont realize when I need them. I didnt blame them. I juz blame myself. I feel afraid to ask them. I know they will help me by ol meants but I didnt tell them. Ive my own reasons for diz. M kinna sad. Though m strong but as follow to the laws of creation, I do have disadvantages. Sometimes I feel weak. I feel sad.

One day, drought occurred. I asked ppl for water. M crying. I feel weak. They didnt listen to me. Coz m juz asking them from inside of my heart. I keep silent n still standing there as usual. Supporting and helping ppls. As time goes by, m getting weak n weaker. M hoping they will give me some water. I keep hoping and hoping until I became hopeless.

M asking around. " Hey Miss Windy, can u give me some water??" no response. " Hey Mr. Cloud, can u give me some water??" no response. Suddenly come little gurlz and said to herself " Pity diz tree. Its dry. It needs water." Then she took out a bottle of water n shower me with the water. I feel bttr n touch wit the kid.

As time goes by, m getting weaker n weaker. And finally I...

p/s: Used ur imagination to think wat will hppn next to the Mr. Trunk.

Alphabets

I miss U. I cant find U. I try my best to look for U. I go high up N low down. But still I didn't C U. Then I wonder Y. M here but U there.Sth pop up in my mind. Then I realize N say "oooo". I luv U.

Weeeee~~~ dats ol for today. We had learnt alphabets. We had learnt C, I, M,N, O, U, Y.

p/s: Missing You...Hopefully u r fine there... I got so many things wanna share wit u.

Smile (^_^)v

Hye Ol!!!

Juz wanna share wit u sth. Juz now I feel hard to breath. Feel like drowning. Yeaaa its normal n m getting used with it. 1st sign, I'll having headache for a few days. Lost my appetite. Then here it comes. As I don't have any medicine for it, so I decided to go to the lake to take some fresh air. I went there by car then I juz sit inside my car n watched the view. The story begins.

1st I saw 1 group of family. Father, Mother, and 3 children. They were playing ball n boomerang. The eldest playing by herself. The 2nd child playing with her dad n the youngest playing with her mom. I can hear they were laughing esp the youngest. She laughed while running. What a happy family.

Then I saw another group of family. Father, Mother and 1 kid. M not sure whether she or he..hahahaha..The kid is trying to walk as fun as the mother. huhuhuhu..Then the father show his hand n automatically the kid open his/her arm. Then the father hug the kid while walking with the mom. Niceeee~~

2nd I saw a group of frenz. Around 4 gurlz n 1 man. They were playing a green small ball. They kicked the ball here n there. They were laughing. Suddenly 1 of them fall down n every1 were laughing. Me toooo~~~ hahahaha..

3rd I saw a couple playing a kite. Soooo shuuuweeett~~hehehe.. Though it looks stupid running here n there, playing a kite not in a windy day, but it was fun. Can u imagine, they were running ol over the field juz to fly a kite?? Siyesly it was funny. I juz smiling alone inside the car.

Here I juz wanna u to realize dat, simple things can make u smile. U dont have to put any effort to smile n laugh. Like a group of frenz juz now, they juz need a small ball to laugh. The kids juz need a hug to smile. The children juz running then they were laughing. Looking at them make me feel bttr.

Then I realized. Although they are some ppls who dont wanna see us happy BUT we should know dat, they r still some ppls who wanna see our smile.

p/s: I feel bttr now though still hard to breath

Sleepy

Hye ol!!

I juz woke up from sleep. I dunno y I feel sooo sleepy n tired today.I think everything went well today. Though in the morning some1 took my breakfast at the cafe. Then I missed my appointment with lecture. Got headache in the afternoon. M having my brunch + dinner at 4pm. Sigh~~~

Ok guys..I wanna go to bed again. Hopefully everything will getting bttr tmr.

p/s: M sorry if it makes u annoyed coz m toooooo concern about u. It juz who I am.

Respect

Hye Ol!!!

1st thing 1st, I wanna warn u guys about my post today coz its quite emo...

M juz feel bad or bttr I put it as upset when some1 look down on woman / gurlz. M not saying dat m a gender basis ppl but at least you should pay some respect on us. Its not fair when u announced in ur class saying dat " guys..I hope u bttr watch out coz gurlz owez find u to do programming stuff". I dunno whether he wanna warns us or he wanna challenges us.

Yeaaa I know dat m not a good programmer. Yeaa I admit it. Since I was in foundy I never give up to give a try on programming. Somehow, I feel dat I should stop. BUT I cant do dat. Can u imagine how I feel?? How depressed I am?? Ppl who r good in programming can simply type everything, compile then run. As for me, Ive to start from the beginner level. When I heard from my frenz dat some1 give the above statement, somehow I feel like diz is not my line. I shouldnt be here.

I dunno. Is it the way he wanna motivate us. I dunno. Ive no choice. Wat I gotta do now is, pay attention and work on it. Let me tell u sth. I wanna prove to him dat yeaaa m bad. But m not the worst. Or at least m not dat bad.

p/s: he owes me a smile. U know y?? Coz I cant even smile to my hubby.. =(

Salt

Hye ol!!

Yesterday my hubby ask me.."do u wanna watch salt(he used malay words)" Then I replied " everyday I watch salt coz I've one desk lamp made up of salt"huhuhu..I juz dunno wat does he meant by salt. I sound silly =_=" hahahaha...Then he laughed n said " dat is the title of movie dear". OMG. Yeaaaaa fineee~~ m not updating myself wit the latest movie.

Then we went for midnite movie.. yeeeppyyyy!!!! finally~~~ we got time together..hehehehe..lalalalalala~~~ we discuss about us on our way there n back to campus..I feel sad for 1 whole weeks. I feel bttr now..

Thank You!!!! hehehe

p/s: get to know n learnt

Learning Outcomes

Hye Ol!!!

5th day. I went to the DCN class n I learnt about connection. About sender, receiver, medium, and data. Suddenly sth pop up in my mind. Its about connection between human being. In relationship we've opposite party. If only 1 party receive or send, the data cant be share or transmit. In connection also, every sender n receiver have their own protocol ( sets of rules). Y do we need protocol? To make sure the rules are executed orderly. Dats happn in relationship. Everyone of us have our own principles, mind set and natural behaviors. We've to make sure they correspond to each other in both side. Wat I meant here is, we've to learnt to respect, and try to configure the protocol. It may helps u to understand each other bttr.Diz protocol kinna challenging but helpful. Guess y?? If we know ppl well, we can act how we should be. How about medium?? Medium acts as a carrier / booster in connection. Same concept in relationship. We need sth to spice up our relationship. Its depnd on situation. Either we'll facing problem, we arguing or we keep silent. It shows u where ur relationship direct to. End of DCN class.

Then I went to SE class. I learnt about designing process. Wat can I say from the graph, when we design a system, its may happn situation where by its fluctuate. Sometimes it goes high up and sometimes it goes lower down. In early stage, we may face many kind of problems and errors. As time goes by, its getting bttr. Howeva, it doesnt owez maintain at the same level. We need to improvise our system. Then the errors occurd again n it goes down. When it reaches its turning point, it'll goes up again. In relationship, if we dont know about the persons well, we may put high expectation on them. When they did sth wrong we blamed them. Or in other situation, we expect dat person doing A but he choose B. Its kinna freak me out. huhuhu...

Lessons for today:

- If possible try not to put high expectation on other ppls.

- Get to know ppls.

- Blame urself instead of other ppl.

- Human r not perfect. They cant do everythng dat we wish them to do

- Sometimes we bttr speak wit silent rather than speak wit words.

p/s: when we think too much its hurt.

Happy~~

Hye ol~~

As I promised I'll update my blog 4 1 whole week rite??So wat hppnd today??

Ive no class. Actually Ive lab today but the lab start from week 3 onwards..Sooo I should appreciate the ample time. Today, m on duty for UTPHost. I like it. Honestly I really2 like it. Here I can be how I wanna be in next 5 years. How should I look like n how should I bring myself. Yeaaaa~~ some of my frenz know me well.. They know I love to be in corporate world. Dats my dream. Pray for me ok??

So today we had visit from Sekolah Kebangsaan Tanjung Malim. Siyesly they r kawaaaiiiiii~~~ They r small n cute~~They remind me of my childhood period. Sigh..m getting older =_=" Back to our story. I n my colleague brought them around campus. We went to Chancellor Hall, UTP jungle (garden in front of building 17) then Pocket D. feeeuuuuhhh~~~ kids rite.. It’s quite tiring but I enjoy it. It was fun. Can u imagine, how do I look like taking care of 13 kids?? Perhaps my frenz who know me will laugh out loud. U know y?? Bcoz they know dat my height is more or less like primary school students. So can u imagine?? Funny rite??

At evening my syndrome comes again. Thank god I meet some1. Frankly speaking, she's my twin. She’s definitely known how I felt. She can feel wat I feel. Siyesly. I don’t have to elaborate more. She can get it. Siyesly... We r experiencing the same things, we've same thought, same principle but we've diff hubby..LOL =_=" So tonite I feel bttr. Everythng I kept inside in 4 days alr out..feeuuuuhh~~~ relieeeff~~ Juz now I only asked her " hey, r u ok??" then she told me how she felt. Definitely as same as mine. Then we had a chit chat. Thank you sooo much.

Finally I left u wit some pics

wit my colleague

some of the students

briefing b4 tour around UTP

One of the teachers

p/s: m proud of myself coz m wearing heals today though its not dat high =P

to misz diamond m sooo sorryy~~

Shoes

Hye Ol!!!

Day 3...as usual I went to classes but we've sooo many gaps n it makes me feel tired to wait 4 next class..Everything were fine. I went to Taman Maju to accompany my frenz to buy capsule pillow n one of my senior colleague to buy shoes.

Wat hppnd at shoes shop??? Fyi m a shoes lover. I love shoes. Compared wit other stuff I prefer shoes. Yeaaaa... I've soo many shoes. I like to try on shoes. Then as usual I try the shoes there without any attention to buy it. Then the shop keeper ask me n my frenz " Wat do u wanna buy?" I answrd " We r juz looking around 1st". She went to somewhere else then asked us again " Wat do u wanna buy?" I said " We accompany our frenz". Guess wat her respon??? " If u juz accompany ur frenz then accompany her, dont try any!!!"..OK FINE!!!! IT MAKES ME FEEL OFFENDED. I juz answrd nicely " Ok aunty. Thank you sooo much". I feel like crying. Honestly, I feel like she is humiliating me. Am I sound exaggerate??? M sorry to say. I never eva buy any shoes from dat shop.. EVAAAAA!!!!!! Hellooooo!!! ur shop is not even bttr then Bata!!!!

Yeaaaaa~~~ aunty u r rite!!! Its my fault coz trying ur shoes...Remmber diz name..S*****A!!!!!!! never eva!!!!

After the incident, I prefer to stay quite. I guess dats my style diz semester. If I feel angry or sad or upset, I'll keep silent.

p/s: M crying coz I need my mom now...Really2 need her by my side at diz time. =(