Patience

Dear all,

I am sooooooo happy and I don't know how to express it. Alhamdullilah I got 4.00 for my internship!!! The flat four (4 flat). hahaha.. I screamed out loud when I know my result. The thing is I got a dream that I will get either B+ or A-. That’s why I am so nervous to wait for the result. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! Still wanna scream now LOL

I know its sounds silly to be happy about it but for me it is something that I should be proud of. C’mon! 4 years studying in UTP and never get DL award. Suddenly I get 4 flat. It does really help me a lot.

Alhamdullilah. The tears, anger, stress and sadness are paid with the good result. I would like to thank to those who are always supporting and help me through my internship. It’s pretty hard though. However, with your support and guidance, I manage to get through it.

So peeps, what can I say, in whatever things you do, be strong and patience. He has a better plan for you. If you didn’t get the pay right here right now, do believe you will get the pay later. And if someone makes you feel bad, mad or sad, do believe it’s not your job to punish him/her. Let them be. Forgive them. He will arrange something bigger for you to teach them.

p/s: Human interaction is like nail and walls.

Wrap up for July 2010

Hai

Wat happened diz semester? Ermm everything went smoothly. My studies are getting better but I skip a lot of class. sigh sigh. I dont like it. Ermm for the first time ever, m close wit my GA. Mean we discuss a lot. Its weird for me of coz. Overall, I luv my lecturers and my subjects for diz semester. Thats wat I learn directly from class. For diz semester I luv Corporate Ethics. It is the 1st subject that I luv. It makes me think and realize about the real worlds.

We go into sth dat I learn outside of the class. I learn to pretend. It was hard at the beginning but m getting used to it. How do u feel when inside, u feel like wanna punch somebody but at the same time, the outside u are showing a nice face to them? How do u feel when u have to show a sweet face but the truth is u are angry at them? feeeuuuhh~~ it must be tired rite? But thats life. Not ol ppl can accept the real u accept they are willing to accept it.

The truth is, diz semester I talk less. ( I guess). I kept sooo many things inside. However, thx to my twin. She know how I feel without telling her wat Ive went through. Perhaps its sound lame but I really2 appreciate it. She may cry when I feel want to but I cant. She may laugh when I feel want to but I cant. She also know how sick I am. Thank you so much.

Lastly, I wanna thank to those who had make me cry, laugh and enjoy. I didnt blame those who make me cry bcoz that makes my life. Just to let u know sth. When I keep quiet doesn't mean m agree but dats mean. . . .

p/s: People say, don't judge the book by its cover. I realize. The book which look nice outside doesn't really be nice inside.

Crazy

Owh...U've made my day..u drive me crazy..bcoz of u, my day start at nite..bcoz of u had made my life even more complicated...it was soooooo nice of u...my life turn up side down. Everything jumble up juz bcoz of u..

Juz one more thing. I wanna let u know, no matter how nice and sweet u r, u owe me! Fine I will let u control me diz time. Fine u win! M back of. Remember diz, dont get tooo happy tooo sooon. Juz wait until the exam week. I will teach u a lesson.

p/s: its not for anyone.

Ethics

Hye ol !!!

Feel like wanna share sth. I guess I found answers for my questions in my class..Yeaaa rite..seems like m applying wat I learnt in class into my life rather than onto a piece of paper (exam). hehehe. U know me rite?? Speak less Think More (^_^).

M taking Corporate Ethics. Supposedly m applying ol theories dat I learnt into business but it seems like suite my life bttr =_=" hahahaha..Though I juz learnt 3 theory of ethics, but I like it. Yeaaa~~ its a dry subject but interesting.

Juz wanna share a few points from my class. Ive learnt 2 theory of ethics: Kantian and Utilitarian. In order to classify them depend on 2 things: look at the consequences or look at the action itself. For both theory have difference perspective. Kantian think about others n not ourself but utilitarian think about ourself n how it effect others. I owez asking around, do we should be selfish? This theory answered my question.

For Kantian it has 2 view point: put ourself in shoes of receiver and never treats other ppls as a means but as an end. This apply to high level of organization. M sorry but no offense. This only wat I think n m not totally rite. You may have ur own views. Sometimes, ppl at the top didn't understand ppl at the bottom. Get wat I meant? Its true bos / superior can give instructions to employee/ subordinate. However, do u realize the way u give and instruction?? U r saying like they r ur slave. C'mon~~ Instruction, Order, Ask and Begging is diff. Can't u differentiate it?

Lastly, Theory of Right. It has a lot of points but m juz wanna focus on Aristotle's Theory of Virtue Right. Wat is virtue?? It meant character trait that manifest itself in habitual action. We cant change in a blink of eyes. It takes time. Dont expect ppl may change as wat u wanna them to be. No one is perfect neither me. Dats wat m telling u now. We cant force love and attitude but we can nurture them. We cant expect ppl to love us in a minute..Hellooooo~~ its not a fairy tale okeyh~~hahahaha..Same goes to attitude. Another point, he said dat, we should determine moderate character. Diz answered my question " How to differentiate between arrogant and courage?" The answer is, if u r tooooo courage, u r arrogant. If u r not courage u r coward. Be moderate by juz being courage.

Enaaafff!!!toooo many theories in the early of the day....hahahaha..ok fine..I stop here...

p/s: I found it is a nice says " We can juz bring the horse to the river BUT we cant force the horse to drink". Wat I think is, we don't know whether the horse is thirsty or not. So, y should we bring it there? Yeaa we cant force it. If it didnt thirsty, y should it drink?? rite?? Y must blaming the horse?? U should know the horse bttr. Whether it thirsty or not. Know it bttr..

Respect

Hye Ol!!!

1st thing 1st, I wanna warn u guys about my post today coz its quite emo...

M juz feel bad or bttr I put it as upset when some1 look down on woman / gurlz. M not saying dat m a gender basis ppl but at least you should pay some respect on us. Its not fair when u announced in ur class saying dat " guys..I hope u bttr watch out coz gurlz owez find u to do programming stuff". I dunno whether he wanna warns us or he wanna challenges us.

Yeaaa I know dat m not a good programmer. Yeaa I admit it. Since I was in foundy I never give up to give a try on programming. Somehow, I feel dat I should stop. BUT I cant do dat. Can u imagine how I feel?? How depressed I am?? Ppl who r good in programming can simply type everything, compile then run. As for me, Ive to start from the beginner level. When I heard from my frenz dat some1 give the above statement, somehow I feel like diz is not my line. I shouldnt be here.

I dunno. Is it the way he wanna motivate us. I dunno. Ive no choice. Wat I gotta do now is, pay attention and work on it. Let me tell u sth. I wanna prove to him dat yeaaa m bad. But m not the worst. Or at least m not dat bad.

p/s: he owes me a smile. U know y?? Coz I cant even smile to my hubby.. =(

Up and Downs

Hye ol!!!

My second day...dunno y I fell like wanna write sth 4 diz 1 whole week. Today was funny. U know y?? Coz I n my frenz were asked to leave the class. Actually we cant take dat course diz sem. We've to take it after we came back from internship. I still remember wat the lecturer told us. " Is there any students who r not final year student?? Diz coz was meant to be 4 final year student" We raised up our hand and the lecturer asked " which year r u in??" I answerd " 2nd yr 1st semester". The lecturer replied" m sorry to say but diz course only for final year student. We've case study to discuss n hope u guys would understand. Im sorry but u've to drop diz course". Then honourdly we left the class.. hahahhaahh..I laughed out loud but my frenz almost cry coz cant bare the shame.. For me, it was nice experience coz I got to know how the final year student 's lecturer treat his students. Honestly it is diff.. I like it....siyesly..

At evening I misz my family.I really misz them. I juz came back but really need them now. Yeaaa I've frenz n my hubby but its not the same. Mak Ayah Angah~~ I misz u guys...M crying sob sob sob...I dunno how to tell u wat I feel. Yeaaa Ive sooo many ppl around me. They make jokes, make me smile, but I feel empty. I feel nobody arounds me. M wonder, y cant they differentiate between fake n true smile??? hmmmmm~~ can some1 bring my family here???

At nite I meet 2 guys. One really make me feel annoyd and another one honestly I cant look into his eyes. The 1 who make me feel annyd is not dat bad..Juz he owez teasing me...I hate when he smiles to me though sometime m waiting for it..At least he cheer me up tonite..Another man...hmmmm~~ it is a long story.. I meet him during DCN 1st class.. I asked in ENGLISH I repeat again... in ENGLISH about the class. I never know him. I dunno who is him. I thought he is Pakistanis coz he really2 looks like 1. Tonite I meet him . Guess wat?? He is not. He is malaysian n he his from Penang. OMG!!!! can u imagine how I feel juz now. Soooooo shameful. I know dats nthng wrong speaking in English but I juz dunno y I felt shameful.

As conclusion, today was up and down. I feel up in the begginng of the day, then down in evening then go up again when I meet diz 2 guys, then down again when I came back to my room.

p/s: I need ears coz my ears were tired. Do u get wat I meant??

Weeeeehuuuu~~~

Hye Ol!!!!

New sem begin tmr...m quite nervous. Actually m not ready yet but at the same time I feel xcted. I dunno y diz sem I feel so energetic. Ive soooo many plans n really hope everythng will be fine. Perhaps m in a gud moods. Or m acting like m in a good mood though m not. Who knows.

In my mind rite now, diz sem will be a cruel semester. Yeaaaa~~ campus life begin tmr. Lecturer, assgmnt, project, meeting, lab. Dats normal. Following same schedules every day. Wake up, class, eat, meeting, sleep and sometimes study for test or quiz. The same bored lifestyle begin.

Diz sem I wanna make a few changes on my schedule n Ive new missions.

1. Gym, Swimming and Diet
Wanna have more stamina n need to shape up my figure. Fasting will help me wit my diet plan.

2. 15 minute Power Scanner
Every nite I'll use 15 minute b4 I go to bed to revise back wat Ive learnt on dat day n the day b4. I'll also wanna prepare myself for the lecture next day.

3. Learnt to say "NO"
Diz is the hardest words 4 me. Need to practise it.

4. Grow Inside Out
Wanna work out on my self motivation n self esteem. Focus on EQ n SQ. Wanna be stronger gulz. " Be stronger but not harder. Be softer but not weaker"

5. Study
If diz sem I achieve my targeted gpa, I've sth waiting for me at the end of diz sem. Wat is it??? SURPRISEEEE!!!!

Wish me ol da best. Pray for me. I need strength, passion n care.

p/s: Am I acting n thinking like m in a fairy tale story?? Magics and prince.

Fighting!!!

Guess wat??? Today is my 1st day as 1st Year 2nd Semester student. It didnt go as I planned. Dunno wat happnd diz sem but everythng look havoc. The morning class start pretty well but when it goes to PCS, everythng start to jumble up. Really hate diz situation!!!

Almost ol my plan didnt work out.

1st plan : wanna add basic dance BUT full session

2nd plan: wanna add modern music BUT full session

3rd plan: wanna add recreational BUT full session

4th plan: add PCS BUT credit hours will be 18 (quite tough as I consider the events I joint)

Last plan: drop PCS and stick wit 15 credit hours ( too little but I thnk it is worth it as Ive 2 jargon subject - OOP n ADS + OS)

Perhaps I should resign from some events but dats not who I am. I didnt said dat m kinna of people who sacrifices my studies for events. Let me put it in diz way, as I went to the interview last sem n I was accepted to be the committee ( doesnt matter PM or Asstn HOD or even committee) its meant dat I alr vowed to face any risk myself and uphold my responsibility. If I resign, dats meant I betray myself. Its even worst coz I create trouble for others to solve my problems. U know y?? Coz they have to find replacement for me as I alr have some tasks to do but I left. Dont u thnk so?

I didnt make any decision yet.I guess I stick to my last plan. Only 15 credit hours. Insya Allah i'll take PCS next sem. Diz sem I wanna focus more on OOP n ADS. Guess wat?? I dont really can catch up wit the flow of the lecture. Soooo many new terms though have same meaning as I learnt b4.

I hope everythng will get bttr soon. As now m learning how to control my anger, sadness n avoid getting overwhelmed, diz situation challenging me. Wat hppn next I dunno but I hope I can make a rite decision.