Steps by Steps

Dear All,


Hellooooooooo to new semester and bye bye to January Semester. So far, everything run smoothly and slow =I . So this semester gonna be my last semester in UTP (hope so =D). I'll be having my convocation day on 21st October 2012. So, I wanna keep my strength to throw "the hat" as high as possible cause it pays and shows how much fun I had through out my life in UTP (#honestly speaking). From FA couple =P to Mamak gang to Event gang and hello bye gang. hehe..


Tell you what, even though this semester is my last semester in UTP but I feel like it is tougher than my previous semester. Why?? Jeng Jeng Jeng...cause bla bla bla.. anyway..thanks to my FA couple for your time and effort. It really means a lot to me. So, this semester I need to keep strong as how my FA couple is. Of course, throughout the journey, tears gonna flowing like waterfall T.T but I take it as my foundation or base for me to float. erk!! =_=" (#rounded people floating easily).  So people, pray for me. I can make it through for 7 month, why not this 4 month... Right?? Yea, perhaps I can say, now the factors are different like distance, time, money but will think about it later. I need to distract myself and get myself back as soon as possible. 


In fact, it is tiring to cry and stop continuously while you feel better after cried and will cry again in few minutes. Its not that I don't stop myself from crying but I just can't bare with it inside. The easiest way is, let it flow whenever it feels like flowing. Like korean said " Ottoke!!" hahaha Crying Machine. 


Lastly, to whom it may concern..please take care of yourself. I'm struggling really really hard to get better as soon as possible so it won't become your burden any more. I know that you'll get annoyed soon but I hope you can bare with me for few more weeks. At least until when I feel like I'm stable and busy. I'll make myself as busy as possible and will try my best to feel better. I'm really looking forward to have couples of visit to your place later. 


p/s: crying doesn't meant your are weak but giving some space for yourself to express your real feeling while gathering strength to bounce back 

Compliment

Dear all,

Have you ever wonder how do people feel after been compliment by someone? Happy? Touch? Upset? Sad? Angry? Let me tell you a story.

Once upon a time, there was a low profile, lame and unorganised girl. What in her mind is, she doesn't care what people might think about her so long as she feels comfortable with herself. She was surrounded with beautiful girls. It drove her to be one. However, as time goes by she gave up. This is because no matter what she did, she will end up makes herself look stupid and embarrassed herself.

Her best friend is one of the most popular girls in school. To be honest, it’s been hard to her. Of course, she feels jealous but friendship is more important than beauty. She kept it inside without letting her friend know about it.

After a while, this girl felt in love with someone so called "retired womanizer". As a successful womanizer, of course he was surrounded with tremendous beautiful girl. It makes her felt so insecure. The worst part is, in rank 1 -10 she just gets 6 to 7. Means, she’s not even pretty in his eyes. It is more than enough to make her unmotivated.

Since that day, she always looks at beautiful girl and say, hey that girl is beautiful. In fact, she’s actually saying, I’m not like them. She love attention and always wants to be the centre of attraction. She loves when someone said she has nice cloth, look different when she put on makeup, looks this and that.

Her boyfriend (her boys buddy) never said anything about her appearance exept condemning her. Again, she feels down and less motivated. She did watch a video about beauty. In the video stated that, beauty is abstract. We can’t define beauty. But still she needs a compliment.

Recently, she met a guy. Actually she knows about him long time ago but never talk to each other. He is retired womanizer, sweet talker, handsome and gentleman. To be honest, being compliment by him is something that she never thought. Hellooo~~ you are being compliment by womanizer ok! LOL.

Tell you what, even though it is a lie but at least in some way, it makes her feel better and appreciated. By saying, you are not beautiful but cute in your own way is enough to make her smile all day. Instead of saying pretty rather than beautiful is unique in a sense of appreciating the girl existence. To the man who has complemented her, thank you so much. I know you are lying but at least I’m happy to see her smile and get blushing.

p/s: I am beautiful as the way I am ^_^

Mr. X

Hai All,



My post tonight gonna be something emo. Due to some technical problem with my brain wiring, Im a bit ting tong. I need your opinion. What do you think about Mr. / Ms. X ?? What I mean is your future husband or wife.



We never know who is our wife / husband. Never know when he/she will appear. Never know how he/she will look like. Never know his/her behaviour. Never know where is he/she. But what we know is at one time, in a moment, somewhere he/she is our Mr/Ms X.

Having experienced of unworkable relationship really give a big impact on me. Its not that Im not happy now but I can't stop thinking what is going to happen if the same thing occur? You may say I had a day dream or my expectation is too high but the reason of Im having a relationship now is only aim for marriage. Perhaps its too early but I take it seriously.

I know its beyond my control. What can I say " If its stated that he is destiny to be with me, make our heart closer. If he is not, hopefully my heart can accept it calmly and peacefully. Yes, he is the person that Im looking for but Im not sure what is His Plan. Can I be with him? "

What I know, I love him. ( If you feel like vomitting, please do so. I dont care.LOL).

p/s: need to get back to my report. =D adios amigos!!

Super Eira ^_^

Hai all!

Im back...hehehe..I thought I wanna update my blog once I reach my room but something wrong with my account and it fixed around 9 sth. Then I watched variety show "Running Man" till now. So what happened today? Let me begin with a few scenes occured today.

Scene 1: A married couple with one kid (Ah Boy). Both (husband and wife) are blind and the kid is not. Imagine inside the bus, the kid sit on the end left, mom in the middle and dad on the right. How do they communicate? Through sense and touch. Mom passed the junk food to dad without knowing where is his hand but imazingly, the food didnt fall of even a single of it. I cant imagine the boy bring his parent from the bus terminal to their destination. He is approximately 10 or 11 years old. I am amaze with them espeacially their relationship and bonding.

Scene 2: An old man approximately 60++ years old inside the STAR. Looking around with unsure face. Asking a girl " Adik, do I need to change to another STAR to go to Puduraya?" The girl " No need uncle. Just stay here. That one going to Ampang". The old man" ooo.That day I need to transfer to another LRT." The girl smile. Once reach the station, the old man just sit. The girl told the old man, he needs to take off from this station. The old man hurried and left the LRT.

Scene 3: A lady approximately late 50 outside of Masjid Jamek LRT station. Trying look around and finding someone to ask for help. Suddenly " Adik, which way to go to LRT?" The girl " Which LRT?" The lady " Kelana Jaya". The girl, " ooo im heading there too. Just follow me and I'll show you". Smiled. They crossed the road and the lady said" This way is it? Its ok I go first". The girl let her go by herself. Guess what? The lady queaue at the worng counter. The girl called her and said its not that way. She shows her the right way. She thank her and said this is the first time for her.

Scene 4: In front of Putra LRT door. While waiting for the LRT, a man approximately 40 sth approached the girl. He asked " Adik, which way is going to Setiawangsa". The girl said " this way". Smiled.

Scene 5: 2 young couple. One couple approximately 20 sth and other one approximately 30 sth. Now we focus on the 1st couple. They are sitting.The girl leaning her head on the guy shoulder. Without a word, the guy's hand hug her from behind and the other hand holding each other. Feel soo comfort. Now we talk about 2nd couple. They are also sitting. The girl didnt talk much. They guy tease her, make jokes, and they laugh. I would say, they are playing around. Haha..

Lesson Learnt:
1. He had a better plan for us. We can plan but doesnt ensure its gonna work
2. When we love someone:
- We dont need to see them
- We dont need their shoulder
- We dont need to have them all around
It is because
- We use our heart to feel / sense their love, not by our eyes
- We use their strength to keep motivated and be strong
- We will always feel their presence eventhough they are not near
3. In life, they are peoples who are willingly help others with no reason. Find them!
4. Sometimes we cant see our partner, cant cry on his/her shoulder, cant be with him/her. Let's think about it. Why do you need your partner? For his/her eyes? shoulder? Mouth? We are made to complement each other. They cant be around 24 hours. Because they are your 911.Operating 24 hours. Be there asap when you need them but not always there with you =D

p/s: simply share my thoughts. Inpire by the blind and young couple, a lady and the old man.

What About Now

Hai all,

Welcome back to myself!! A lot of things happened in the last few days. There are fun, sad, emotional, and joy. Someone told me that " Why should we care if people care about us or not", " Why should we depends on others to help us".

Ermmm I would say, what happened in the last few days makes me realise something.

1. No matter how hard we try hard for others, they never see what we have done for them. The more we give, the more they request without noticing our effort to get it done.



2. When we do something, we just need our effort to be acknowledge and feel like being appreciated.



3. When we do something, others may not noticing it for the sake of their goods.



4. Word "HELP" can be interprate as ' can you do this for me? I need to submit it to the boss'



5. Phrase " Thank you for your help" is equal to ' you help me with my KPI'



6. Phrase " its important for me" is equal to ' it shows how my perfomance is. Please do it asap as you can'



7. What goes around will comes around.

My internship experience is not as good as others. Obstacles, hard times, bitter and sweet moments will make me who I am next semester. I always tell myself, " its ok ira, at least you experience something that others dont. What they give what they get. Patience".

Finally, I learnt to say " I dont care"and "Whatever". It may sounds selfish but who cares!

p/s: I might be by myself but Im not alone.

Mission

Mission : Complete the progress report and sleep
Mission's Status : 95% completed and cannot sleep
Current status : Dangerous. May lead to tears eruptions
Agent's status : Emotionally injured
Causes : Eyes and Heart attack
Victim : SNZ
Strategy : Launching self - reflection application and press the self-control button

Time reporting 4.40 am in agent's secrete room.

p/s: Pretending like I dont know. Im respecting yours as someone's and please do respect mine as someone's.

In 2 hours

Hai all,

Thanx to my "great" morning whereby I had a"pleasant" trip to Pavillion. From pavillion then walk to the KLCC. Nice ah? Never expect it will took 2 hours to go to KLCC from my house. Once I reached the office, everyone look at me like im doing a big crime! Ok fine. Im late for about 1 and half hours.

Next, I never expect to spend my 2 hours visit by going to KL sentral and eating the nasi ayam. I had my own plan but dont want to spoil others plan. So, with tears I say good bye. I hate saying it actually.

Conclusion, 2 hours in the morning and evening had give me a big impact on today. This 2 hours create a sweet and "sour" memories.

p/s: Im not crying bcoz you are leaving Its bcoz I met someone that always accompany me when I wanna do or get sth. Its really turn out to be like wat I post before.

24 August 2011

Hi All

Actually I've a long list to share. Start with my internship experience, Ramadhan, family, love life, friends, life in KL and last but not least my new life here.. But I’ll choose certain things to be shared.

I love my new life style. Learn to manage the house, bills, rooms, and myself. Honestly it is a challenge to me to have everything in my head. Clean the house and room, pay the bills, cook, task at work place, logbook, internship project and etc. I would say I almost get pissed off with it. But thats how it should be. Now Im getting used to it.

I do have dream to work with my host company. Im imagining how is their manner, how they treat other, how they appreciate other, feel of togetherness and of coz feel the presence of others. Now, Im there. Being part of them is not as easy you see. Three month Ive gone through, a lot of things happened. Mostly make me feel bad. Im happy to go to work, learn something new and get myself involve with the new task. I love keep myself busy. Unfortunately, its not how I want it to be. Everyday I go to work, I just feel Ive to. If I didnt go, they will deduct my allowance. It is not something I enjoy. You know why? It is not because I hate my work, it just that I feel frustrated with the people. Of course, there are some moment I feel happy and most of time I feel unhappy. I did try my best to change. Start with the way I talk, look and work. Sadly, I just realise I make myself look stupid. Im just one isolated girl sitted at the corner surrounded by the cubical. People wont believe me if I said Im the most quite and the one who like to smile there. Thank god, I got my SV. She is the only friend Ive there. She is nice. Beside her, I didnt talk much with other. I dont know, sometime they just bluffing, teasing each other and the one that I dont really into is gossiping about others. Unfortunately, my SV going to resign effectively on 2nd of November this year. I keep thinking myself, who Im gonna talk with. Sigh.

Second, I missed my late grandfather. Normally, when Ive problem, I’ll sit beside him, tell him my problem and he will advice me. I know its sound lame to sit with your grandfather and have a chit chat but I like it. Normally I’ll listen from both, grandfather (father side) and grandmother (mother side). The difference between both are my late grandfather is cool, relax, and his words make me feel calm. Today I cry at office due to something that make me feel offended (not first time). When I came back from work, I took taxi. The driver look exactly like my late grandfather. His smell ( ciggrate made of leave) , his wrinkle hand, his face shape, and the way he talk. I feel like today, I reached the maximum level of my patient with my office mate.Suddenly, I met the taxi driver who exactly look like my late grandfather. Honestly, I feel a bit relief. Although I couldnt share with him what I feel and gone through, at least I can meet someone who look like him.

Just a litle bit sharing about my late grandfather. Normally , the last week of Ramadhan, he will call my uncle and aunt and we will breakfast together. As javanese, we have one culture where by, we will send food to our neighbour or relative at the end of Ramadhan. So, my late grandfather will call all of us to eat and cook at his house. Early in the morning, he will check his birds. He is a birds lover. I still remember, when we promised to “ balik kampung”, I can see him waiting at the stairs in front of his house. I tell you what. He can remember all of his son n daughter car registration number. The one that I wont forget until the end of my life, he will buy us Soto for supper. After tarawikh prayer, he wil buy soto and all of us will eat together. Thats why I rarely eat Soto when Im at Perak although I love it. It is because its remind me of him. He always say to me, “ accompany me”. I missed him sooo much. I dont know. Normally, when I sad, he will be with me and talk to me. Even if I didnt tell him what happened, he will give me his advice.

As a conclusion, internship not only let me stay at KL and let me manage my life myself, I also need to face the challenge. The challenge that Im scared the most. Being lonely and sickness.

p/s: Thanx to those who with me when Im in need.

Prince Charming and Cat

Dear all

Quite a number of day I didnt visit my blogging world. What? Visit? Sounds soooo formal.. errrr is it a sign that telling Im getting professional? teeet obviuosly not..hahahaha. JK.So for today entry I would like to share about prince charming. Of coz not shrek or cinderalla's and snow white's husband plus not even think of beauty's beast. Its about my prince charming. feewwww Im melting...hahahaha crazy me

Im pretty sure, the girls out there do have dreaming about someone to be their life partner. (Excluding actor). So do I. hehe. Dont laugh if I said I do have dream to marry a prince. From which royal blood? errr I didnt think about it. hahahaha. To make it short, everyone would love to have a better and capable to create their life as what they dreams of. So do I.

Letting go your own dream and creating a new one are two difference things. I know Im thinking too much on my future but Im a type of person who is aiming for something. It will leads me on where and what should I do now. It doesnt mean Im trying to challenge my destiny.Obviously not. I do believe in this, " God didnt change one destiny accept he himself".

Somehow, without I realise, I became too forcy. Arrogantly, I'll ensure people around me will do and follow as what I want and planned. Without realising it, Im hurting others feeling and killing myself. There is only one word would describe the entire thing I did, 'WORRY'. Im just couldnt sit silently without trying my hardest to get something I want. If I didnt get it, I wont regret it.

After all, I would like to apologize who ever may or had involved with me. It just, Im worry about my future and myself. I do agree it sounds selfish but Im so sorry, I have to. Im sorry for the pressure that I put. Im sorry for my stubborness. Im sorry for me who is being selfish. Just to let you know, in the end, you also will get the benefits. Im not the one who success. Im not the one who got good placement. Im not the one who considered to be successful. You are the one.

Lastly, I will do everything I could to be the shoulder you can lean on, backbone to support, wings to make you fly higher, brain to rationalize, and heart to love. Perhaps you may heard this, to get the medicine, you must get the poison. I might be the poison who keep smashing, pressuring, and make you down, but Im also trying my best to be the one who can cured you.

p/s: why do I love cat? It may has sharp claws and teeth but it also cute and tame. Sounds like me ah?? LOL

Dear My Heart

Dear My Heart,
Dont only keep thinking that you always get hurt
Dont only think that you are alone
Dont only think that you are empty
Dont only think that you need to collect the pieces of yourself
Dont only think that you need to find love


Dear My Heart,
Please be strong
Please keep moving forward
Please cheer up
Please enjoy your life
Please be happy

Dear my heart

Dont give up to love

Dont forget how it feel

Dear My Heart,
U know what Im thinking right now
But please dont think of something stupid
Please my heart
I care about you because I need you through out my life

I'm a Big Girl

Hi all,

Its hard being stuck in the middle. Trying damn hard to satisfy others.Cares about others feeling. Fulfilling both "instructions" and "wants". Do they know how I feel? Patient is the key for the solution. But how long it can be? What? Discussion?*sigh* It wont change anything. By the words so called respect, silence is the best way.

p/s: Am I wearing a wrong costume? Smile on the face but crying in the heart.

Dream

Dear you the guy in my dream,

Thank you for your kindness. Thank you for making me happy. Thank you for being with me. Being humble like you really inspire me. I am wonder how do you know my fav ice cream flavor is yam. You know I love motivate kids. The most important things are, you know I love to play around and act like a kid. Thank you.

Regards,

Tengku Izza

p/s: Your granny's PA really make me feel silly. =P

Semester January 2011

Hi all,

What do you expect me to write? A story on how am going this semester? A sharing on what I learn this semester? Teeeet wrong answer. Please try again. LOL

This semester is the last semester before I leave UTP.(literally before final year). I've gone through sad, happy, and even feeling-less memories. huhuhu. Being here at UTP is a great experiences. (m not trying to promote UTP anyway). Although it is in the middle of the jungle, but its not bad rite sharing the place with monkeys, owls, buffalo and many other creatures. (not included the one which bite me).

I realize that, times goes by quite fast. Am I prepared to face the real world out there? huhuhu I dunno. Now, m preparing for my final exam and will face it soon. Final exam is just about grade. If you score higher mean you are a great student. If not you are not. Then you get job offers, get better positions and get more money. Hmmmm what a boring life.

Here I would like to tell everyone I knew in UTP that I AM GLAD THAT I KNOW YOU. It doesn't matter either I like you or not, I care about you or not, we are closed or not, the points is I knew you. Hmm I guess that's all from me.

p/s: Set Sail On The Winding Trail, Cast Anchor In The Heart of Calm, Heavy is The Heart That Stays, Sad is The Soul That Strays

I'm A Dreamer

Hai All,

Have u ever mixed around with the type of peoples who are always surrounded by fans? M kinna have experienced it before. Ermmm I can't deny that I'm kinna follow their attitude now. LOL. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I’m surrounded by fans but I'm following the way there are thinking.

Fyi, during my schools time, I was surrounded by players. Basically they are not sportsman / sportswoman. LOL. They are totally the type of peoples who always changing their partner or kinna well - known peoples. If they didn't attract to others, others will attracted to them. Funny rite?

In fact, they are changing now. Now, they are avoiding the term " in a relationship". They are still straight. It just, they said, they are bored with their life before and they wanna focus on their future. They are more determined on where they are going to and what they want to do.

Perhaps I'm a type of person who easily adjusts my life planning. I know where I'm going to and what I want to do. I just want to feel and appreciate the opportunity that I've now. I know, I can't reach the time that I've set for myself . After got the news one of my friends who are like my brother passed away yesterday, had really2 change my mind.

For now, I would say, I'll be like who am I for last two years. I will work hard for everything that I need to do today because I'm afraid there is no tomorrow for me. I just don't want to spoil other dreams as I've did it for twice. I always being me and I'll be fine.

In fact, truth is hurt though you didn't mean it. Facing the same thing for twice is a difference story. No matter how hard I want to fix it but its end up with the same ending.

p/s: I didn't mean to be a dream spoiler. Because I thought I’m the ones who create dreams for u. I'm sorry for everything.

Happy 2oth to Ira

Dear Ira,

Hai Ira, How are you? Hope you are happy...I know you are...right??? hehehe...

Here I would like to wish you Happy Birthday! hehehe...you are 20 now...can you imagine? There's no more -een for you..lol..don't be sad because from -een, now you are becoming -ty. Right?

Ira. In 20 years, we had went through so many things together. I know you in and out. I knew you deeply. I know when you happy, sad, energetic, a little bit "diva" and so on. Indeed, you can't lie to me. Here are my wishes for you:

Ira, you've grown up. You've change a lot. I mean it. You changed from childish you and becoming more matured you. From emotional you to chill you. From serious you and becoming cheerful you. lol. If m gonna list them here, they gonna take more entry..hehehe So hopefully, you keep learning. No matter what happened, learn from that situation or problems.

Congratulation Ira! Now, you manage to control your emotion. I know you are learning a phrase to be apply in your life which is "what ever". Its good habits. No matter how bad and terrible people do to you, you'll say "whatever, I don't mind".

Hopefully Ira, we will be together no matter what happened. No matter how much changes you wanna do in your life, never ever forget me. Just to let you know, no matter what happened, I'll always with you. We'll be twin until the end of our life.

With lots of love,

-Tengku Izza-

p/s: thank you so much for the birthday party. Im really3 appreciate it... thank you (^_^)v

People

Hai ol

As usual if I've sth to share..I'll be here. So, wat m gonna share today is sth about people around me that I met accidentally or purposely. Lol

M juz realize I was surrounded by the same behavior and type of people. If its not the same, it will be almost the same. Don't you realize it? Dats happened to me. No matter wat, I'll enjoy my life while I've still have the opportunity to have it. Once I've lost it, perhaps m not in this world anymore. Such a waste.

Today is the registration day for the new intake. They are so excited to be here and of coz they have many kind of style (group). One side of the cafe, I can see a group of stylo family. Wit hand bag, high hills, nice cloth n etc. However, they are some other group with low profile style. Which mean, they looks like from a well family but they acting like a normal people. Another group is a group of simple profile family. When I look at them, suddenly the memory of being a foundation students came up. oooohh OMG.

The old me?? huhuhu...=_=" Ive changed a lot.. hehehe.. thx to ol n my environment..

p/s: Luv ur life..Although u don't care about it, there are some people who cares (^_^)v

Seasons

Hai all

~~We had joy We had fun We had seasons in the season But the hills that we climbed Were just season out of time~~ oryte.. m gonna stop here coz dont wanna expose the best talent that I've. kui3 =)

Here I would like to share my views on certain issue. M juz wonder, are human being are bond with the season too? I mean, does people also has season? or we can say people are up to date? I dunno but based on my own observation, most of the people are following others or talking about the same things on certain particular range of time.

Lets me get straight to the point. Look! People only talk and discuss about it when it is a hot issues on that particular time. When another story arise, the previous issues was left behind. Did u realize it? For example, issues of Afghanistan, issues of mavi marmara, issues of badminton, story of FIFA, and story of lost kids. The newest issues now is about football match between Indonesia and Malaysia and double decker bus accident. Believe me, they will be left behind once there are another story arise.

What can I say, people dont have their stand. Oryte. I know people need to be up to date but do u have to follows others? I dunno. Wat can I say, people behavior n interest are like waves of the ocean. It keep smashing the beach and makes a peaceful sound. Did u realize, it changes the structure of the beach?? Dats how peoples are. They create a waves which good for certain parties like reporters, sellers, and etc. But it wont be long and the waves had change the community. It would be fine if changing to the betterment but what if it happens vice versa??

Here I would like to ask u to think. Are u up to date bcoz of following others or bcoz u are really into that issues? As for me, I would like to learn n know as many things as I could bcoz I hate a situation where people are playing around with me. The situation I hate the most is when people make me feel and look stupid in front of the others. Here she comes. The egoist gurl!! =P

p/s: Its good to be up to date BUT why should u left the history. People may see u as an expert in ur field BUT u should know, there are peoples who see u as noob in their field. Hence, learn as many things as u can while u have afford to do it.

pss: Congrats to Malaysian football team for the games. M not congrats u bcoz u guys had won the game but m congrats u for the great games and afford that u shows. To all Malaysian sportsmen n sportswomen, keep moving forward and strive for excellent. No matter wat happened, juz ignore the public. They are proud to see u won but they are too shame to accept ur loose. Dats how people is.

Wrap up for July 2010

Hai

Wat happened diz semester? Ermm everything went smoothly. My studies are getting better but I skip a lot of class. sigh sigh. I dont like it. Ermm for the first time ever, m close wit my GA. Mean we discuss a lot. Its weird for me of coz. Overall, I luv my lecturers and my subjects for diz semester. Thats wat I learn directly from class. For diz semester I luv Corporate Ethics. It is the 1st subject that I luv. It makes me think and realize about the real worlds.

We go into sth dat I learn outside of the class. I learn to pretend. It was hard at the beginning but m getting used to it. How do u feel when inside, u feel like wanna punch somebody but at the same time, the outside u are showing a nice face to them? How do u feel when u have to show a sweet face but the truth is u are angry at them? feeeuuuhh~~ it must be tired rite? But thats life. Not ol ppl can accept the real u accept they are willing to accept it.

The truth is, diz semester I talk less. ( I guess). I kept sooo many things inside. However, thx to my twin. She know how I feel without telling her wat Ive went through. Perhaps its sound lame but I really2 appreciate it. She may cry when I feel want to but I cant. She may laugh when I feel want to but I cant. She also know how sick I am. Thank you so much.

Lastly, I wanna thank to those who had make me cry, laugh and enjoy. I didnt blame those who make me cry bcoz that makes my life. Just to let u know sth. When I keep quiet doesn't mean m agree but dats mean. . . .

p/s: People say, don't judge the book by its cover. I realize. The book which look nice outside doesn't really be nice inside.

Lesson From A Bird

Hye~

Kinda weird coz m updating my blog during a day. Ermmm m juz can't wait to share diz story. The story begin when I was walking towards IRC. While arguing (debating actually..lol) with him, suddenly a black, small and red eyes bird appear. Weird ah??

Nthng special about the bird actually but the bird had teach me sth. The bird's wing injured and it cannot fly. It try to fly but keep falling down. It looks funny when the bird fall on its head but its must be soooo hurtful. It keeps trying and keep falling. U know wat?? Although it can't fly, but it jumps bit by bit and try to fly. Still it keeps falling down. U mustn't believe it but yess, it makes a move. It moves from one point to another n its quite far.

Sooo~~wat can u learn from that little bird?? Although u can't go high up or score as much as other but at least u've to try ur best to be better from the previous u . Can u imagine wat will happen to that little bird if it didn't try to fly or even jump?? It can't go anywhere or even worse, it will die there. Another thing is, juz wanna let u know that, its hurtful when u wanna try to help but u don't know how to. Its so sad to juz look at it keep falling and trying but u cannot do anything.

That's all from me. I hope this story will make u think.

p/s: a motivational story during an exam week..ah?? m I high motivated enaf?? naaaa~~

Hold My Hand

weeeee~~ hye ol!! I knew u misz me..ahaks..here I am..M back..weeee~~ (^_^)v

Ermmm u know wat?? Diz year Ramadhan is the best Ramadhan I ever had. Though tmr is 21st of Ramadhan n we still have another 9 day to go BUT its really2 meaningful to me. Everything is difference. Starting from 1st of Ramadhan until today. I wont regret if diz is my last Ramadhan.

I wanna share wit u about my activity during last weekend. As stated in my fb status, m off to Kampung Redang Punggor, Teluk Intan. I was involved with RECMO-9. It was a great experience I ever had. It is a home-stay program. Can u imagine how do I look like??? M kinna person who hard to mix wit other ppl. I didnt speak much. Sooo~~ wat do u think?? Naaaaa~~ u r wrong..hahaha.. I can make myself feel comfortable there. Ermmm enaf wit it n lets go deep into sth dat may touch ur heart.

In my adopted family's house, my adopted father taking care of her mother. He has maid. His maid will help him. His mother is having a strok. When I look at her, she's remind me of my own grandmother. When I look at her I can see dat she is lonely and wanna share many things but she cant. The most hardest thing is, she is crying when we say we wanna go back. She's not screaming but we can see her eyes is full of tears n drop through her chicks. When I look at her make me think of sth. How will she be if no 1 is taking care of her?? Look. She's fully depends on other ppl. Eat, bath, everythng. Lets say ppl didnt give her food than wat happn?? M wonder, how will I be if m in her place?

During the module I've 1 group members from the villagers. She is nice. She has a fair skin n gentle. She's humble n she has almost every single thing dat malay gurlz should have. However she juz went to school until she is 14 years old bcoz of health problem. She is difference. Her younger sister is taking care of her. She doesnt acts as her age. U get wat I meant?? I didnt ask much about her past but m juz proud of her. ermm..Sth dat touch my heart is during 1 module called " Impianku". She has a wonderful dream.

During the module also I was touched by the kids's dream. One of them wanna be a motor cross racer. He draws the picture of motorcycle. I still remember how does it looks like. Another one, he draws a picture of a man inside of sampan n he is fishing. U know wat he told us?? He said dat " It was the best thing I wanna do bcoz it is my hobby. My late father bring me to go for fishing".

During closing ceremony I be the MC...hahaha...Ok fine dats not the point actually. RECMO gave the orphanage some donation. I feel touch when look at them BUT ive to contrl myself. (Dont wanna be an emotional MC..hahaha). They look so happy. Its hard to say in words but it was a beautiful moment.

We go to 30 August. ermm wat hppnd?? I was involved wit International Iftar. My frenz from Independence Day invited Orphanage and Poor. Again!!! M crying in front of the VIP. Ok fine! m the PnP gurl..hahaha..I asked my colleague to replace me for a while. I ate wit the orphanage. They asked me (in malay) " Sis, lets come to our house n make some activity". waaaa~~~ tacing2..huhuhu.. I dunno. I cant look into their eyes. I feel sad.

As conclusion, I juz wanna share wit u one song sing by Maher Zain entitled Hold My Hand. Hope, my story will make u realize about ur kind heart. Quoted from the Song " We Share The Same Bright Sun The Same Round Moon Why Dont We Share The Same Love"

p/s: Love others as how u love urself