=I

Dear all,

I have something that bothering me. It's not easy to be humble while arrogant...to be nice while rude...to be don't care while care and to be wanted while not. It's quite hard when people started to judge on how we act. Sometimes, our confident may looks like we are arrogant. Our thoughts may sounds like nag. Our suggestions may looks like orders. Our curiosity sounds like investigation. Our courage makes us look strong. Our disappointment make us look weak. Our emotion make us feel crazy. Our jealous make us look like over-protective.  Our expectations make people feel stress. 

p/s: B+

I hate my hari raya this year

My "Happy" Hari Raya

Dear all,

I am sorry to bother you with my emo post but I just feel like write it here. So, as we know, tomorrow is Hari Raya and I had lots of things to share with you.

Firstly, I feel uncomfortable about what happened yesterday. I am ashamed. Nothing hurt me more when someone saying that, should consider and think about me. But I should take that blame. Plus it is my fault. For those who know me quite well, they may expect how my reaction will be. Even it is simple but when something happen and touch my heart, I will remember every single details even the environment, moment, face, text and voice. So, that happened to me today. Anything I did, I keep remembering the words (text) and what I did yesterday. I wish I could cry and tell someone about it.

Secondly, I felt offended with my aunt. It may looks simple but it is offensive for me. I love ayam masak merah so much. But she told my cousin that, she made it especially for her while I am beside her (my cousin). Then when it is almost time for breakfast, she asked me " Do we have coffee?" and I said "No. Do you want?". She said never mind. Then suddenly she told my other aunt, if we have coffee should be better. Of course I can heard it. So, I went to kitchen and make jug of coffee while others break fast. All night I just keep quite cause feel quite sad actually.

Thirdly, I feel mad cause my aunt judging my cousin's son while actually both my aunts not even do it to their son and grandchildren. Then I end up, get out of the house and sit outside. Included my cousin who came like a guest and I have to prepare the food for them. I am not asking them to help me but to be honest, since I was kid, the only people who will be busy are me, my sister, my relative, and my other cousin. How do you feel when you have to prepare the food for your own aunt and uncle while your cousins are there and sit?

Fourthly, tomorrow morning my mom has to go for morning shift. I know I have to understand it but since Form 4, I never have my mom for 1st day of Hari Raya while others celebrating and go to mosque with their mother. I feel it is not fair for me. Of course I am sad about it. I wanna take family photo for 1st day of Hari Raya and go to relative house together. Unfortunately, I can't.

This year, I am not happy with my Hari Raya. I wish I can go back to campus as soon as possible. Seriously, I don't feel good.

p/s: Happy Hari Raya everyone =D

Manner

Dear all,

The time I'm writing this entry, I don't feel good. Today I had made one mistake which really make me feel embarrassed and bad. To be honest, this is the first time for me to do this kind of mistake. For someone who's coming from good educational background, people might not expect it from me. But, it happened. Sometimes it is hard to please people. When I wanna do something, I have to think about 3 parties that will involve. I think it is enough for me to tell that, I feel guilty too. It is not something that I did purposely. I was thinking they might be rushing but I was wrong. Honestly, I feel bit down actually. Instead of giving me advice on how to solve it but people seems to blame me on that. I know I am wrong and I hope they stop telling, "why don't you do this and that", " why that", "why you this". So end up, I called my gurlz and asked her what to do. What a great 1st day of holiday...get fever, flu and that moment happened. sigh. Just not my day. I  wish I could sleep peacefully cause I felt uncomfortable with what happened. I am sorry for all the inconvenience caused. Again I am sorry. =I

p/s: I wish I could cry out loud about this at home. Seems like no one care about it. =( Feel better at UTP   

That Pak Cik

Dear you,

Sometimes, in my life, there will be someone that when I think about him , he will appear. Either through phone call, sms, or chat .Magic. Make me laugh and think big. Motivate me and make jokes. Dear Mr. Hl, please do not repeat the same mistake that you have made. 

Sometimes, in my life, there will be someone that I can only see him from far even though I know that we shouldn't go this way. Just because I am afraid of being offended, I am pulling myself from you. Dear Mr. F, hope you won't judge me as an ignorance friend. 

Sometimes, in my life, there will be someone that I feel good to talk to but I don't feel comfortable with it. Some how make me feel irritated and I prefer to keep silent. Dear Mr. Hz, I am sorry if it's look like I am avoiding you but the truth is, I prefer if we keep our distance.

Sometimes, in my life, there will be someone that never miss praising me. Even though well known as sweet talker but you just good and great in your own ways. Dear Mr. S, I wish you happy with your dream girl. I always pray that your transformation will bring you to the better you. 

Sometimes, in my life, there will be a moment where by I forgot that I am a girl. Love being part of your gang even though I am the smallest >.<. Dear Mr. A, Mr. Hr, Mr. Fz, you guys are awesome and looking forward to the day when you guys look handsome =P

p/s: People come and go for many reasons. Special dedication made to my dearest of all Mr. D, you make me feel like I am your real sweetheart >.< blushed 

Interview

Dear all,

I had attended several job interviews and today is the last one for this semester. I just realize that, my experiences are really helpful during my last interview. Why?

1. Unexpected information during interview

During 1st interview, I wrongly understand about the job scope. So, internally, I'm stunt and my brain keep thinking what to answer. Its happened again during my last interview but different situation. 

2. During my internship I  faced lot of problems

Can be used during my last interview

3. Get heart shoot during pre-sedex

Helps me in thinking and answering fast during case study and role play

4. Pressured with due dates and stuff (assignment, test, project etc) for this semester

Helps me in sharing my thought about a time where I need to meet due date, is there any missing task and how I do it

I dunno, but looks like my interview session is the shortest among those all. Perhaps I didn't talk as much as I should or I am not perform well during my interview. Sigh. I am really wish to get this job. Because, I know that, I am not capable of catching any bigger and fatter fish than this. 

p/s: looking forward for the akak final year photo shoot session

Hell's Woman

Dear all,


I watched a movie entitles "Perempuan Neraka" (Hell's woman). Its a story about disobey wife. Wife who control her husband. Never care about her husband. So on and so fort. However, that's not the main idea why I'm writing this post. 


What I'm thinking was, how come husband and wife is having so much conflict comparing with their life before marriage? Doesn't it weird? When they are in a relationship, everything are fine. Loving and caring like there is no tomorrow. But once they get married, they wish there will be no tomorrow. Why? hehe obviously I'm not married and I won't understand the situation. What I'm having in my mind is once you have husband or wife, you have someone that you can rely on. Comparing with  couple before marriage, there is term so called "responsibility". Do you know why it is "so called"? Because bf and gf are not oblige to act and behave as husband and wife. If he or she are husband and wife, they have and must fulfil their responsibility as husband and wife but its not necessary for bf and gf.


 Well, it is something for you to ponder. Let's say you are having gf or bf now. Are you sure, he or she is someone that you can be happy with for the rest of your life. Won't make you disappointed. Are you sure your bf can be a good husband and father for your kids? Giving good education, enough food, enough care, enough attention, enough time. Of course, are you sure, your gf can be a good mother and wife? Taking care of family even though she may be working, care about kids, give some times for you and kids, cook, ect. Or maybe your wife will ask you to do the house work while she is 24 hours in front of the mirror. Or maybe your husband will ask you to take care of everything while he is having fun with his friends?? Hmmmm