Distance

Dear you,

Distance make love grow fonder. But I would say distance may make the love disappear through the thin air. Silence is better than words. But silence is killing you inside. Waiting and hoping for every moments in your life. Every text n message buzzing ur inbox will drive you crazy.

Asking what your heart wants is not a good solution. Why? Bcoz your heart is searching and wondering. Why is this, Why is that. Should be this way, Should be that way. In the end, the point is only "Attention".

If you love someone, never let them go away from you. Hold them and make them feel your present. Make them feel secure and safe. Just to let u know something, Ive lost someone in my life before. I know how it feels. Endless regret.

p/s: I rarely speak what I mean to.

Prince Charming and Cat

Dear all

Quite a number of day I didnt visit my blogging world. What? Visit? Sounds soooo formal.. errrr is it a sign that telling Im getting professional? teeet obviuosly not..hahahaha. JK.So for today entry I would like to share about prince charming. Of coz not shrek or cinderalla's and snow white's husband plus not even think of beauty's beast. Its about my prince charming. feewwww Im melting...hahahaha crazy me

Im pretty sure, the girls out there do have dreaming about someone to be their life partner. (Excluding actor). So do I. hehe. Dont laugh if I said I do have dream to marry a prince. From which royal blood? errr I didnt think about it. hahahaha. To make it short, everyone would love to have a better and capable to create their life as what they dreams of. So do I.

Letting go your own dream and creating a new one are two difference things. I know Im thinking too much on my future but Im a type of person who is aiming for something. It will leads me on where and what should I do now. It doesnt mean Im trying to challenge my destiny.Obviously not. I do believe in this, " God didnt change one destiny accept he himself".

Somehow, without I realise, I became too forcy. Arrogantly, I'll ensure people around me will do and follow as what I want and planned. Without realising it, Im hurting others feeling and killing myself. There is only one word would describe the entire thing I did, 'WORRY'. Im just couldnt sit silently without trying my hardest to get something I want. If I didnt get it, I wont regret it.

After all, I would like to apologize who ever may or had involved with me. It just, Im worry about my future and myself. I do agree it sounds selfish but Im so sorry, I have to. Im sorry for the pressure that I put. Im sorry for my stubborness. Im sorry for me who is being selfish. Just to let you know, in the end, you also will get the benefits. Im not the one who success. Im not the one who got good placement. Im not the one who considered to be successful. You are the one.

Lastly, I will do everything I could to be the shoulder you can lean on, backbone to support, wings to make you fly higher, brain to rationalize, and heart to love. Perhaps you may heard this, to get the medicine, you must get the poison. I might be the poison who keep smashing, pressuring, and make you down, but Im also trying my best to be the one who can cured you.

p/s: why do I love cat? It may has sharp claws and teeth but it also cute and tame. Sounds like me ah?? LOL

Provoke

Hi All

Define give up. Let it go? hmmm what about give more? hehehe Why give up? Not give down? Give left or right? Its sound weird when I said give up means give more. But yeaaaa..I try to give up..LOL

I'm trying my best not to get pissed off by others, but it just me. I would say "whateva" but that is nt what I mean actually. I hate being provoke. Although Its for fun but if it keep happening continously, how would I feel? You are trying to be funny with other people, but do you consider other people who are related to that person? You never do.

If I didnt say anythin doesnt mean I'm ok with it. It just that, I'm trying y best not to let you messing up my life.

p/s: Avoid to get sth meaning you are trying to get it

Super Girl

Super girl doesn't cry

Super girl doesn't looks gloom

Super girl will be fine

Super girl knows how to handle the problems

p/s: Handle the problems with care. I always realize when the problems come, but I never notice when the problems are gone.

Past Present and Future

Hai ol

Wat m going to write is totally crap. If u feel uneasy with it, u r welcome to leave this page.

I was attracted with a quote, "Life gonna have full of challenges, when obstacles arise, change ur direction to reach ur goal, not the decision to get there". Thats life. From my perspective, I never know which way m going n why m going to that way until m in. Mean, m juz going to which way I want based on wat my heart say.

Some people will say that m kinna emotional coz m following wat my heart say. Fyi, my heart will owez think about others instead of myself (perhaps). Wat diz ppl will feel. Wat dat ppl may think. I feel sad or happy if I do this to him or her. Sometimes I feel like m living in my own world where m creating something to ease my heart. M creating my own excuses and reasons to ease myself. Although its work, but when the ugly truth appear, it will smash on ur face.

Wat happened. I move on. I keep moving forward and leave the past. Even, I feel afraid to look back at my past. However, m not having amnesia. Sometimes, it appears without I want too and reminds me on wat happened. Thats why, I need something/someone from present to pull me back to the real world. Its happened in the other way around. Past pulling me back and the present didnt pulling me but pushing instead. Feel like learning a grammar..hahaha.

p/s: to my past, present and future, I owez being me. Perhaps u may see m changing but if u see deep inside of me, m still me.

Anything Im Not

Hye! How were things going on?? Better?? Bad?? Or Mixed up?? Arghhh!! Wit diz kind of weather and quiet environment make me feel upside down. =_=” aigooooo Oryte. Let me divide my story into 3 categories: study, emotional and quick update.

STUDY.
OMG!! M in final exam mood!! Aaaaa~~~ can u imagine how was it? Kroh kroh. Juz finished with my 1st paper. LOL. Health Safety & Environment paper. I don’t really know wat I answered. =S Answered it based on my “writing skills”. LOL. Sooo m preparing myself for another 5 papers to go. Gambatte!! Caiyok2!! To ol my frenz, ol da best keyh! Aim high, though u can’t reach the moon but at least u fall on the star.

QUICK UPDATE
For next semester, I was bound with several commitments. For club and events of coz. C’mon! M a eventholic (same as workaholic ) LOL. Ermm m also working on a storyline for a game. Weeehuu~~ m in multimedia line. Quite excited. Hehe =P

EMOTION
Hmmmm~~ diz is the critical part. As usual, the same thing happened. Anythng people do/say will straightly go into my heart. M kinna use to it. So, wat can I do is juz keep silent as my 1st policy for diz semester is silent is better than words. Keep control myself. Arrghhh~~ tired of it.

Another thing is about the possibility of my past bad history to occur again. Lalalalala~~ why must it happen again?? M sooooo sorry. For diz time around, I can’t fight. M effortless. I feel weak. Ive lost soooo many energy during last battle. Juz don’t wanna get involve with the same battle again! LOL Juz kindly reminder, if some1 in, I’ll back off. Sound selfish but m tired with it. When I see it, I will juz sigh n smile. =)

p/s: I watched Megamind. Honestly I learn more than a lot from that story. One of it is, no matter how hard we try our best for others, they can’t see wat we keep inside. Either they are blind or pretend that they didn’t see it. (Taken from Megamind character). Feel like Megamind suite my personality (not appearance) =)

I wish

Feeeuuuuuhhhh~~ After went through sooooo many things, I have made a conclusion. B4 dat, wanna share wit u about wat had happnd to me diz couple of weeks. We start wit my study. Project submission, a line of test and Project Presentation. Unstable mood. Get angry with no reason. Get heart feeling with EVERYONE. Enaf with it. Enaf with complaining.

I should stop saying "I wish". Stop saying "I hope" and "Wat If". Those words lead to frustration. I realize it when I watched a video about Nick Vujicic. I keep complaining y sth like diz, sth like dat and at the end m hurt and frustrated.

Now, I should appreciate wat I've and learn to accept wat I should have although I dont want to. Trying to be the better me. (^_^)v

p/s: thx to u coz being patient wit who I am. The headache me. huhuhu

Smash

Remember diz. Dont let the emotion controls u but u've to control them. aahhhh~~ it was tiring. Fight wit our own feeling. It was ok when we can make things clear.Perhaps our feeling start to accept the fact and we r in rational state. But when we receive another smash! feeeuuuhhh~~ dush dush~~ erkkk~~ we collapsed.

Receiving the same momentum of smash make me tired. weeeeeeeeee~~~ straight go into my heart. please! take 5 needed here~~ hello~~ can u hear me~~ huhuhu.. i was wondering, i wanna smash back, i'll get harder smash. I wanna avoid it, i'll loose mark. So, wat should I do?

p/s: m learning to be stronger but not harder, to be softer but not weaker. however, i dont know how to =_="

Why?

Please change your mode into disappointed mode in order to understand the post.

Have u ever encounter a situation where by u feel dat u r the victim of the situation? Perhaps never. Naaaa~~ let’s make it short.

M wonder..did I ever disturb the other ppl relationship? This is not the first but more than three times its happened. Its kinna offense. M not going to tell u the exact story but juz wanna tell u dat m disappointed with it.

M happy with the progress but I realize the presence of me will ruin everything.

M sorry to say but the best way is making a distance. I dunno how long the distance will be.

p/s: perhaps u don’t know how the feeling was. Juz imagine how the feeling is when excited changed to upset

Holiday

Hye ol!!

Weeee~~ tmr m going back to Johor.. nice ah?? Cant wait for it!!! siyesly!!! hehehe I misz the moment when ppl care about me. Scold me when I didnt eat. Warn me when I sleep late. Nag at me when m down. Obviously, teasing me when I woke up late. Opsss~~ bad habit..hehehe..

Ermm..I didnt pack my stuff yet.Perhaps later. aaaaa~~~ m working on my so called "mini-thesis". Oh God~~ chaiyok2!!! hahaha..

I would like to take diz opportunity to thx to my brother who are doing his practical now. Thx for ur concern for diz 1 whole day coz worry about how m going to go to Mdn Gpng. From morning till I update u wit the latest status. Plus thx coz praying dat tonite will be another black out so dat I'll be scared to stay in room ALONE. =_=" I'll inform u anythng via phones.

Promise (^_^)v Sooo no worry.

Then to my best buddy 1. Thx for ur suggestion for asking me to go to the field and scream. I like it BUT perhaps I'll use it some other times. =P About ur another suggestion, ermmm I'll think about it. U knew me. Thx coz at least u make me laugh though I've pretend to. =_="

Then to my best buddy 2. I luv u gurlz..hahaha..if God will, we'll meet next Tuesday. Story Mory okeyh??? Thx coz texting me n give me some advices. Luv u soo much.. =)

Then to my "granny" here. Thx for ur treat. hehehe..after diz no more break fast but breakfast togther..okeyh?? u knew me deep inside. Thx a lot =)

To ol (included ppl who I dont know but they know me) happy holiday!!! Enjoy the Hari Raya. Appreciate ppl around u while they r still in ur circle. Who knows, perhaps diz is ur last Hari Raya together.

p/s: Mimomimo I'll misz u soooooooooo much.When I come back, we'll have a date togther..okeyh?? To my Buncit..take care here.. I cant bring u along diz time..sooo sad =(

Attention!!!

Sir Yes Sir!!!

hehehe...Hye ol!!

Sometimes I wish I can go to some place where no one know me..Give me a break plz~~ need my space...It was okeyh if ppl juz smile n wave. I hate catching ppl eyes.. I prefer a low profile act but high profile personal..get my point??

M kinna secretive. Hard for me to share sth personal. U know y?? Bcoz I dont wanna let ppl know my weaknesses coz dat may effect me in term of life.

p/s: Really hate the situation when ppl talk behind my back...

A Stupid Tree

Hye Ol!!

Wanna share wit u a story about a tree. A Stupid Tree.

Hello there. My name is Mr. Trunk. M a tree. I was planted at the garden. It was a nice and cool garden. Its really comfortable to be here. With the green scenery, birds singing beautiful melody and the sounds of water are flowing from the river.Its nice rite?? Hang on. Dats not the end yet. I was pampered by the human. They really take care of me. They know wat they should do when falls, autumn, spring and summer. Enaf water, enaf supplement and even I was given a treatment when I was affected by the disease / virus.

However, that's the old story. I was moved to somewhere else. Some place that I never imagine of. The place is more or less like previous garden but its not the same. Yea.. There is river flowing, birds, winds but its not the same. Sooo based on human laws, we've to adapt ourself with the environment instead of keep complaining2 n complaining. Hence, here I am. I try to adapt with the new environment.

Time goes by and m getting used with the environment. Howeva, m kinna misz my previous garden. I keep moving on in the new garden. U know wat Ive learnt a lot in a new garden.

I used to help ppl. Dats my purpose. I used to be the shelter, the place for them to take a nap, for kids to climb up and fall down. Without they realize, m the one who hold the land from sliding. Dats me. M happy when ppls are happy. Dats my nature. I breath in carbon dioxide ( acidic but not tooo acidic) n release oxygen for ppls. I take the bad n release the good. Dats me.

Howeva, sometimes ppl dont realize when I need them. I didnt blame them. I juz blame myself. I feel afraid to ask them. I know they will help me by ol meants but I didnt tell them. Ive my own reasons for diz. M kinna sad. Though m strong but as follow to the laws of creation, I do have disadvantages. Sometimes I feel weak. I feel sad.

One day, drought occurred. I asked ppl for water. M crying. I feel weak. They didnt listen to me. Coz m juz asking them from inside of my heart. I keep silent n still standing there as usual. Supporting and helping ppls. As time goes by, m getting weak n weaker. M hoping they will give me some water. I keep hoping and hoping until I became hopeless.

M asking around. " Hey Miss Windy, can u give me some water??" no response. " Hey Mr. Cloud, can u give me some water??" no response. Suddenly come little gurlz and said to herself " Pity diz tree. Its dry. It needs water." Then she took out a bottle of water n shower me with the water. I feel bttr n touch wit the kid.

As time goes by, m getting weaker n weaker. And finally I...

p/s: Used ur imagination to think wat will hppn next to the Mr. Trunk.

Alphabets

I miss U. I cant find U. I try my best to look for U. I go high up N low down. But still I didn't C U. Then I wonder Y. M here but U there.Sth pop up in my mind. Then I realize N say "oooo". I luv U.

Weeeee~~~ dats ol for today. We had learnt alphabets. We had learnt C, I, M,N, O, U, Y.

p/s: Missing You...Hopefully u r fine there... I got so many things wanna share wit u.

Quick Update

Hye!!!! m back

Sorry coz its quite sometime i didnt update my blog...hehehe...as usual m busy wit my daily life..

So far my life getting more complicated but sweet~~guess y?? coz "This could be the start of something new it feels so rite to be here wit u" hahahaa....no need to xplain more about diz...I thnk u guys can guess it urself...

Diz 2 weeks m superb busy. Have 1 test which is tmr and another 3 next week.OMG. wats going to happn???!!!! M done wit EMS n now focus on H4i and GOP.Guess wat??? Some1 propose me~~hahaha..Wat does the proposal ol about???Wait n See...hehehehe

Hope u guys can pray for Me n him, Me n evnts, Me n studies and me myself.I need more energy diz sem though only 15 credit hours..hahahaha...

Gtg now...see ya...ttyl..take care~~!!!