If that is Allah will, He will show you with regard nothing can stop Him

Hello everyone,

This week is a heavy week for me. I don't know how to start. What can I say, it taught me a lot. From friendship, love, betrayal, trust, respect and honesty. The hardest part is about memories. It is a bad memories. I feel burden. I feel uncomfortable. I feel hatred. I feel mad. Feel shame. Feel wanna cry all day long non stop. The worst part is feel of betrayed. However, at the same, I feel what happened is a give or sign from Allah. If we try to re-look at the incident back, it is properly plan and executed wonderfully. The hurt, the tears, the hatred are part of the memory.

I am not a type of person who can easily forget what had happened. Either it is a good or vice versa, I will remember every single things about it. From the text, the idea, the moment, the time, the doer, and the discussion of course. It is a painful memory that teach me on how to handle things in the future. I do admit, no one perfect. However, I do believe, people can change. Chances are always there for people to grab. BUT, hopefully, and please use the chance properly and wisely.

When we talk about marriage. Honestly I cant wait for that moment. BUT I have dreams that I aimed to achieve. I wanna prepare myself to be a good muslim, mother and wife. For me, marriage is not only about make "that" relationship halal. It comes with responsibilities. Can I wake up before him? Can I be patient in case I didn't get what I want? Can I understand his situation when he can't meet my expectation? Can I be his makmum? Can I stop from thinking something stupid and crying all night long? Can I feel happy with his weaknesses? Can I calmly said I'm angry or mad at him and can't accept what he did? Can I love him until end of my life without regret it for the rest of my life? Can I stop bring back the painful, unforgettably memory when we fight with each other? Can I be patient when we fight with each other? Can I accept him as how he is and be in love with him with no reasons until end of my life? Can I respect him and listen to him? Can I accept the fact when he leaves me and this world? Can I be with him until Jannah? Can I?

When we talk about friendship, I do appreciate my friends whom I consider as mine. Sad and happy memory we share. The up and downs we go through it together. I do admit, I'm not totally a good friends for people to have. BUT I'm trying my best to give the best as a friend. I don't have many friends because as for me, I do only care for those who really care about me. That's why, I feel hard to loose a friend. Once I decided to break him / her from my circles, then that's it. People come and go as how they want it. Besides my parents and sister, I just have friends here that will support me and be with me when I'm in need. I didn't expect much from a friend. Just a simple care and love is sufficient for me to be strong and get through the problems. When I feel lost and crazy, I need a friend who can grab me and bring me back to the real world. When I feel sad or wanna cry, I need a friend who can lend her shoulder for me to cry on and a couple of hand to hug me, make me feel warm. When I feel happy, I need a friend who can crazily jump like a monkey with me. When I feel sick, I need a friend who can pray for me to get well soon. When I feel burden, I need a friend who I can share the burden with. When I feel blur, I need a friend to explain and give me opinions. This are the definition of friends in my life.

So peps, please, I'm begging and reminding you. Please3~~ don't ever2 hurt your love one and friends. Appreciate them. Because the painful is hardly to describe but the scars can be severe. However, the feel of hatred and angry are the burden that you will bring all the way of your life. What for right? Left it behind. Move on and let it go. Its hard though but no harm if we try.

p/s: pray for me

Happy Birthday Abang! =D

Dear All,

Look Deep Inside The Eyes, What Did You See? =D

This silly girl had plan something for him, a day before his birthday. From
UTP ---> Zoo Taiping ---> Gunung Lang Ipoh ---> Jusco ---> UTP ---> Tesco Pengkalan ---> UTP

This entry is dedicated for him. =D

Errr...

Honestly, he looks like this when he's stress or angry =S

I can't tell you how I feel but I am "The Crying Machine", my tears burst out when I see his smile. hehehe..We do enjoy ourself yesterday. Since 7.30, we leaved UTP and back to UTP around 12 sth. Once we reach UTP, our friends are waiting for him. ngeee ngeee. Prank time! Sorry lalink~

Happy Birthday Sayang! May Allah bless you. Hopefully, you are getting better as compared to before. Be happier, more successful, cheerful, less stress, more productive. In short, be more positive and less negative. Semoga sayang berjaya di dunia dan akhirat. You are the best thing I ever had. Alhamdullilah.

p/s: will always remember this " Just wear it, you look nice with it". Glurp~ Blushing!! =D

Congratulation =D

Hai everyone! Say cheeseeee =D

Im officially announce that I wanna get married! teeeeet! Absolutely not. hehe. I would like to tell you that Im done with my internship. Yeay! I had learnt lots in 7 month. Of course its nothing much about my studies but I do learnt about life experience.

So, after this Im back to student lifestyle. BUT. I wanna make it more interesting rather than just test, quiz, exam, project and assigment. ermm one of the reason why is because errrr because errrr on June Semester errrr hehehe dont wanna tell you =D

Thank you for your moral support ( listen for my complaints, etc), comments, opinion, care and help. Congratulations peoples!

p/s: Ending of Something is The Beginning of Another Things

To My Best Buddy

Hi All,

" If he is for me, get rid of the gap between my heart and his. If he is not for me, make me feel calm with what You had planned" .

To my beloved best buddy, Happy Birthday!!!! Thank you for your time and effort to comfort me. Be a good listener. Be the one that I can fight with. Be a positive side of me. I still remember the moment when I asked you to find a new grilfriend, you said " aishhhh, I have many responsibilities; to my parents, studies and you". I said " what?? me??" He said " yeaaa, you. How can I handle both, my girlfriend and you, the emo2 girl". =_=" grrrrr yea thats you. toooo frank.

Anyway best buddy, you are a great guy. We be friend since I am 10 years old n you are 11 years old. You are one of them who keep teasing me n I will chase you guys all around the school. I feel good when I think about our chilhood. You and your gang teasing girls, feel good being popular and playing with the girls feeling. Group of popular guys who think they are good enough. hehehe..

Lastly, I wish you'll find your future wife soon. I want you to be happy. I feel good to have a best buddy like you. Let me tell you something, I would not allow any girl playing around with you. If she messing up with you, meaning she is messing up with me. You know rite who I am referring to? hehehehe...gotcha!!!! Again, happy birthday best buddy!! I hope you'll be happy forever and be stronger. Stay cool as you always do.

p/s: there are big ship and small ship. The best is friendship (^_^)v . Drop by sometimes, I'll treat you. Promise ^_^

Ago

Dear you,

Before at 1 or 2 am: I feel hungrylah~~ can we go to mamak?

Before: I need to go Taman Maju to find the boxes to pack my things. You wanna come?

Before: I feel like watching a movie tonite, movie jom!

Before: Mcd jom!

Before: Pizza jom!

Before: Batu Gajah jom!

Before: Sushi king jom!

Before: Eat jom!

Before: I feel stress-lah, can we go around?

Before: I'm going to _________, you wanna come?

Before: I bought sth for you, lets meet up

Before: I can't sleeplah, sing (though you never sing).

Before: I feel like eating_______,lets go to___________

Before: You are not feeling well? Come down stairs, I bought _____,______,______for you.

Before: Can I go to karaoke?

Before: How are you going to go back?? Let me send you to Medan Gopeng.

Before: Lets go back together!

Before: You always calling me "buncit" (big tummy) though yours is bigger =P

Before: Ira, wake up its morning / magrib already.

Before: Lets window shop.

Before: Dats style look nice with you. (while window shop).

Before: I need to buy_______,you wanna come?

Before: eeeee~~ dat bear is cute. Buy me 1

Before: wait! lets go in ( shoes shop).Try the shoes. Measure the height . (still I lost)

If I list all of it, it wont be fitted here. What I want to say, you are sponge of my life. Thank you for everything. You help me a lot. You be with me when m in need. I wonder, how it would be when changing the word " before" into "today" (when m going for internship).

Lots of love

-ira-

p/s: dedicated to Muhammad Syafiq bin Afandi.

12 May 2011

Hi all,

Something is hard to explain by words. ahhhhh~~~ such a long time I didn't feel like this. Crying like hell n can't stop. Why did I cry? hmmmm~~ I'm waiting for it. I even wish it to come earlier but when I need to face it, it's hard for me. Yea it's kinda hard for me to face it. I admit that I don't really love UTP but it's hard for me to let everything here.(even single things). hmmmm life must go on no matter what.

p/s: I'll keep everything with me in a book call "memories". Love you guys.

Semester January 2011

Hi all,

What do you expect me to write? A story on how am going this semester? A sharing on what I learn this semester? Teeeet wrong answer. Please try again. LOL

This semester is the last semester before I leave UTP.(literally before final year). I've gone through sad, happy, and even feeling-less memories. huhuhu. Being here at UTP is a great experiences. (m not trying to promote UTP anyway). Although it is in the middle of the jungle, but its not bad rite sharing the place with monkeys, owls, buffalo and many other creatures. (not included the one which bite me).

I realize that, times goes by quite fast. Am I prepared to face the real world out there? huhuhu I dunno. Now, m preparing for my final exam and will face it soon. Final exam is just about grade. If you score higher mean you are a great student. If not you are not. Then you get job offers, get better positions and get more money. Hmmmm what a boring life.

Here I would like to tell everyone I knew in UTP that I AM GLAD THAT I KNOW YOU. It doesn't matter either I like you or not, I care about you or not, we are closed or not, the points is I knew you. Hmm I guess that's all from me.

p/s: Set Sail On The Winding Trail, Cast Anchor In The Heart of Calm, Heavy is The Heart That Stays, Sad is The Soul That Strays

Sick

Hi all

For today entry, I would like to ask your opinions. Am I toooo paranoid? I don't know. I feel like I'm just taking an early precautions. Perhaps I'm pampering myself to much. .sigh

It's hard to explain my condition right now. It's only easier to talk to my mom because she knows my current health status. huhuhu..Because she's taking care of me since I'm kid. So, when I told her that I'm having a fever or pain at the chest or headache, she'll know what's wrong with me. I'm not doubting the doctor here and I can't put blame on them. It just that, I can't bear with it when they keep saying I'm stress or even yesterday the doctor asked me, why did I going to the clinic sooo frequently.

Fyi, if I'm stress I would get angry easily, get annoyed and I would avoid myself from being in the public. I do agree with the doctors when they said I'm thinking about it too much. What do you expect? You wanna me to faint first? I'm not saying that I'm having a medical background so I know what happened to me. It just that, I need reference and opinion from the doctor.

I think I need to restructure my life and I guess I can't trust and depend on the doctors here. New mission for this semester ( almost end already =P) , I wanna having a better life. As what my buddy said, I need to do some exercises, eat veggie and sleep properly. No more excuses.

p/s: From Him We Come, and To Him We Back

Happy 2oth to Ira

Dear Ira,

Hai Ira, How are you? Hope you are happy...I know you are...right??? hehehe...

Here I would like to wish you Happy Birthday! hehehe...you are 20 now...can you imagine? There's no more -een for you..lol..don't be sad because from -een, now you are becoming -ty. Right?

Ira. In 20 years, we had went through so many things together. I know you in and out. I knew you deeply. I know when you happy, sad, energetic, a little bit "diva" and so on. Indeed, you can't lie to me. Here are my wishes for you:

Ira, you've grown up. You've change a lot. I mean it. You changed from childish you and becoming more matured you. From emotional you to chill you. From serious you and becoming cheerful you. lol. If m gonna list them here, they gonna take more entry..hehehe So hopefully, you keep learning. No matter what happened, learn from that situation or problems.

Congratulation Ira! Now, you manage to control your emotion. I know you are learning a phrase to be apply in your life which is "what ever". Its good habits. No matter how bad and terrible people do to you, you'll say "whatever, I don't mind".

Hopefully Ira, we will be together no matter what happened. No matter how much changes you wanna do in your life, never ever forget me. Just to let you know, no matter what happened, I'll always with you. We'll be twin until the end of our life.

With lots of love,

-Tengku Izza-

p/s: thank you so much for the birthday party. Im really3 appreciate it... thank you (^_^)v

Pieces of Time

Another year, another chance

To start my lives anew;

This time I’ll leap old barriers

To have a real breakthrough.

I’ll take one little step

And then I'll take one more,

My unlimited potential

I’ll totally explore.

I’ll show off all my talents

Everyone will be inspired;

While I’m writing this,
I’m getting very tired

I’ll read and learn a lot,
All my goals will be accomplished,
Sigh...or maybe not

Looking back on the months gone by,

As a new year starts and an old one ends,

I contemplate what brought my joy,

And I think of my loved ones and my friends.

Recalling all the happy times,

Remembering how they enriched my lives,

I reflect upon who really counts,

As the fresh and bright new year arrives

Let me stand in the thick of the fight,
Let me bear what I must without whining;
Grant me the wisdom to do what is right,
Though a thousand false beacons are shining.

Let me be true as the steel of a blade,
Make me bigger than skillful or clever;
Teach me to cling to my best, unafraid,
And harken to false gospels, never.

Let me be brave when the burden is great,
Faithful when wounded by sorrow;
Teach me, when troubled, with patience to wait
The better and brighter to-morrow.

Spare me from hatred and envy and shame,
Open my eyes to life's beauty;
Let not the glitter of fortune or fame
Blind me to what is my duty.

Let me be true to myself to the end,
Let me stand to my task without whining;
Let me be right as a man, as a friend,
Though a thousand false beacons are shining

At this moment, I was thinking about someone who inspired me in his way. Who challenged my weaknesses. Who suddenly appear after a long break. Who make fun of me when m emotional. Who knows me in and out. U can be a father who nags his daughter. Sometimes u like a brother who protects his sister. U be a lover who cares and loves with no reasons. And u be a good listener as a friend.

p/s: Happy New Year to All. Tears is not a good start. M wonder how will it ends.

Salam Ma'al Hijrah

Hai...

I would like to wish ol muslim around the world, Salam Ma'al Hijrah (Let's Change). Its a new year for us. We had move to a new year. Wat we had went through take them as lessons, wat we'll go through take them as challenges. Wat does awal muharram ( 1st day in 1st month of muslim calendar) mean to u?? For me, it brings a lot of meaning.

As we look from history of Prophet Muhammad, he had move from Mekkah to Madinah on this day. He had made a lot of sacrificies. He had tried his best to ensure Islam is delivered to us n to our next generation until the last day. As I live for about 19 years, m still thinking, wat had I done to repay him? To show how appeciate I am for his effort?

Later, I would like to share a poem. M sooo sorry coz the poem was in Malay ( plan to translate it to English but afraid it may sound funny). Last but not least, salam awal muharram to ol. Wish u to strive for the bettermen. Dont forget to recite the Doa' for early and end of the year.

p/s: Perhaps I wouldn't diz worry if I dream about u once. The problem is, I dream about u twice in a row and both is a nightmare. (^_^)v

Crazy

Owh...U've made my day..u drive me crazy..bcoz of u, my day start at nite..bcoz of u had made my life even more complicated...it was soooooo nice of u...my life turn up side down. Everything jumble up juz bcoz of u..

Juz one more thing. I wanna let u know, no matter how nice and sweet u r, u owe me! Fine I will let u control me diz time. Fine u win! M back of. Remember diz, dont get tooo happy tooo sooon. Juz wait until the exam week. I will teach u a lesson.

p/s: its not for anyone.

Holiday

Hye ol!!

Weeee~~ tmr m going back to Johor.. nice ah?? Cant wait for it!!! siyesly!!! hehehe I misz the moment when ppl care about me. Scold me when I didnt eat. Warn me when I sleep late. Nag at me when m down. Obviously, teasing me when I woke up late. Opsss~~ bad habit..hehehe..

Ermm..I didnt pack my stuff yet.Perhaps later. aaaaa~~~ m working on my so called "mini-thesis". Oh God~~ chaiyok2!!! hahaha..

I would like to take diz opportunity to thx to my brother who are doing his practical now. Thx for ur concern for diz 1 whole day coz worry about how m going to go to Mdn Gpng. From morning till I update u wit the latest status. Plus thx coz praying dat tonite will be another black out so dat I'll be scared to stay in room ALONE. =_=" I'll inform u anythng via phones.

Promise (^_^)v Sooo no worry.

Then to my best buddy 1. Thx for ur suggestion for asking me to go to the field and scream. I like it BUT perhaps I'll use it some other times. =P About ur another suggestion, ermmm I'll think about it. U knew me. Thx coz at least u make me laugh though I've pretend to. =_="

Then to my best buddy 2. I luv u gurlz..hahaha..if God will, we'll meet next Tuesday. Story Mory okeyh??? Thx coz texting me n give me some advices. Luv u soo much.. =)

Then to my "granny" here. Thx for ur treat. hehehe..after diz no more break fast but breakfast togther..okeyh?? u knew me deep inside. Thx a lot =)

To ol (included ppl who I dont know but they know me) happy holiday!!! Enjoy the Hari Raya. Appreciate ppl around u while they r still in ur circle. Who knows, perhaps diz is ur last Hari Raya together.

p/s: Mimomimo I'll misz u soooooooooo much.When I come back, we'll have a date togther..okeyh?? To my Buncit..take care here.. I cant bring u along diz time..sooo sad =(

Besday Wishes

sigh~~

I know its late alr but juz wanna wish someone besday here....1st of ol..let me sing for him...LOL

Happy Birthday To You~

Happy Birthday To You~

Happy Birthday To Sweetheart~~

Happy Birthday To You~

I alr wish him everythng (privately) hahahaha...btw...sweetheart~~when r u going to introduce me ur soulmate??? i cant wait for it!!~~ =P