24 August 2011

Hi All

Actually I've a long list to share. Start with my internship experience, Ramadhan, family, love life, friends, life in KL and last but not least my new life here.. But I’ll choose certain things to be shared.

I love my new life style. Learn to manage the house, bills, rooms, and myself. Honestly it is a challenge to me to have everything in my head. Clean the house and room, pay the bills, cook, task at work place, logbook, internship project and etc. I would say I almost get pissed off with it. But thats how it should be. Now Im getting used to it.

I do have dream to work with my host company. Im imagining how is their manner, how they treat other, how they appreciate other, feel of togetherness and of coz feel the presence of others. Now, Im there. Being part of them is not as easy you see. Three month Ive gone through, a lot of things happened. Mostly make me feel bad. Im happy to go to work, learn something new and get myself involve with the new task. I love keep myself busy. Unfortunately, its not how I want it to be. Everyday I go to work, I just feel Ive to. If I didnt go, they will deduct my allowance. It is not something I enjoy. You know why? It is not because I hate my work, it just that I feel frustrated with the people. Of course, there are some moment I feel happy and most of time I feel unhappy. I did try my best to change. Start with the way I talk, look and work. Sadly, I just realise I make myself look stupid. Im just one isolated girl sitted at the corner surrounded by the cubical. People wont believe me if I said Im the most quite and the one who like to smile there. Thank god, I got my SV. She is the only friend Ive there. She is nice. Beside her, I didnt talk much with other. I dont know, sometime they just bluffing, teasing each other and the one that I dont really into is gossiping about others. Unfortunately, my SV going to resign effectively on 2nd of November this year. I keep thinking myself, who Im gonna talk with. Sigh.

Second, I missed my late grandfather. Normally, when Ive problem, I’ll sit beside him, tell him my problem and he will advice me. I know its sound lame to sit with your grandfather and have a chit chat but I like it. Normally I’ll listen from both, grandfather (father side) and grandmother (mother side). The difference between both are my late grandfather is cool, relax, and his words make me feel calm. Today I cry at office due to something that make me feel offended (not first time). When I came back from work, I took taxi. The driver look exactly like my late grandfather. His smell ( ciggrate made of leave) , his wrinkle hand, his face shape, and the way he talk. I feel like today, I reached the maximum level of my patient with my office mate.Suddenly, I met the taxi driver who exactly look like my late grandfather. Honestly, I feel a bit relief. Although I couldnt share with him what I feel and gone through, at least I can meet someone who look like him.

Just a litle bit sharing about my late grandfather. Normally , the last week of Ramadhan, he will call my uncle and aunt and we will breakfast together. As javanese, we have one culture where by, we will send food to our neighbour or relative at the end of Ramadhan. So, my late grandfather will call all of us to eat and cook at his house. Early in the morning, he will check his birds. He is a birds lover. I still remember, when we promised to “ balik kampung”, I can see him waiting at the stairs in front of his house. I tell you what. He can remember all of his son n daughter car registration number. The one that I wont forget until the end of my life, he will buy us Soto for supper. After tarawikh prayer, he wil buy soto and all of us will eat together. Thats why I rarely eat Soto when Im at Perak although I love it. It is because its remind me of him. He always say to me, “ accompany me”. I missed him sooo much. I dont know. Normally, when I sad, he will be with me and talk to me. Even if I didnt tell him what happened, he will give me his advice.

As a conclusion, internship not only let me stay at KL and let me manage my life myself, I also need to face the challenge. The challenge that Im scared the most. Being lonely and sickness.

p/s: Thanx to those who with me when Im in need.