Best Frenz Forever

As the years pass,

and we grow apart,

I want you to know,

that you're in my heart.

You helped me through problems,

through things good and bad.

You helped me keep smiling,

when I was sad.

You helped me with guys,

you made me stay strong.

How will I live,

when you are gone?

And where the years take us,

no place is too far,

we will think of each other,

wherever we are.

You're a wonderful person,

with a good heart to lend,

and I wnat you to know,

you're a really good friend.

p/s I dedicate diz poem to someone who really important in my life =)

bored

i misz those days. We laught together. We fight together. We back together. Te Quiero Mucho~~

Hmmmm~~

Tonite I cant sleep again. Dunno y. M I too full or too hungry.hehehe. Juz now I read someone blog. Its funny. I see how the blog owner grow up. Teenager life. Interesting. I juz cant wait for my time. I wanna learnt sth new. I wanna feel sth new. It doesnt meant m bored wit my life now but I start to appreciate wat happen to me even though it is sad, fun, upset, angry, or watever feeling it is. I start to realise dat although my life is miserable or it doesnt turn the way I plan, it creates memory. Memory dat I cant delete unless I've loss my memory. Ppl keep saying dat world is cruel, life is sucks or wat ever but as for me, its really meaningful. Everythng hppn in our life have reason. I prefer to look wat I learnt from it rather than keep complaining y it happns to me.

This few days I feel m being love. Dunno wat is it supposed to meant but I like it. I thnk around 4 month I didnt receive any sweet2 gudnite wish. I thnk around 9 month I didnt really care about someone. It was since...nvm. At first I feel awkward when someone dat I dont really close wit send me sweet2 sms, sweet2 words , talk kindly wit me.hehehe. Its sound crazy but I like it. I feel comfortable with it. I also feel awkward when I suddnly really care about others. Dunno wat hppnd. Wat m saying here is not only for only one particular person. Its for ol. I really appreciate it.

I thnk I start to move on wit my life. I start to learnt how to make the history be a memory. Memory is memory. Honestly, its quite tough. Its juz a matter of time.

p/s : M not waiting for u. M not hoping dat u'll come back to me. But if one day u come back, u should learnt how to appreciate me and u've to tackle me back. For sure, it is not as easy as b4 bcoz, once hurt, the scar remain forever.

Epi Bday Rum8

Sori rum8 4 everythng. I lied to u. I did it purposely cz if not u'll not come. Btw thx to Sopha cz being the reason for Ada to come...hehehe..nice trick ah?? As her rum8 I try my best to bring everyone important in her life. EE gang, ex- EE gang, Cambodian fam, n Imran. However m quite disappointed cz the one I hope to make her bday more meaningful doesn't help me. M quite sad actually. I juz can't stay cool when she said she feel upset bcz he didn't wish her epi bday. OMG. I dunno how to put it in words. But I juz can't look into her eyes. I feel sori for her. She keep pretend dat she's ok. Yea dats my rum8. She is a gud pretender. Perhaps m too emotional. So, watever wit dat guy. I juz feel annoyed talking about him.

We go back to our party. It is superb. I like the cake. It is a chocolate cake wit white cream. Really nice. Its look like wedding cake. hehehehe. Ermm..btw we bought her a big, short, fat teddy bear. I thnk it is half of her height. With a big tummy and big nose. Soooo cute like me...hehehe.. She look sweet sleep with it. She alr give name to the teddy bear. She call it as 'baby'.

Here, I would like to thx to ol my frenz who help me make her bday memorable. Thx to Sopha, Farah, Sarah, Istor, Azfar, Ayien,Nizam, Imran, Piseth, Rainseigh, Nan, Udom, JJ, Lio,Pitc, and my sweetheart, Davuth. Thank you sooo much coz helping me.

For my rum8, no matter wat, u r still older than me n make sure u get married first b4 me. So, u can tell ur children about us. About our family here. About our story here. Juz remmber diz. Let him be in one part of ur brain called 'memory'. Wat u've to do now is be strong, look forward and move on.

Shock

Dunno y I cant sleep tonite. Everyone seems down. My frenz here, my old frenz, my sister here n me myself. I called my primary skul frenz juz now. He sound sad. He try to deny dat he has a problem. I know he has a problem. The way he talk, his voice. Though I cant see his eyes but I know he really2 sad. Finally he tell me wat happnd. M really sorry for him. I understand how he feels. Perhaps we r in the same bots. Everyone are very sensitive nowadays including me of course.

Now its raining. Supposedly it will be very nice to sleep but I juz cant. Perhaps m shock or cant except the fact. My hand still shacking now. Actually juz now I open someone fs. Someone dat really important in my life. Suddenly my tears..... I saw his pic wit a gurlz. Dat gurlz look nice. Really2 diff compared to me.

I feel sad not bcz I cant accept dat he is taking pic wit her. I feel sad bcz she looks like someone dat I wanna b. Honestly, I wanna b a polite gurlz, gentle, being respect, lovable, 'sopan', pretty n etc. But dats not me. Yea I look like so but the truth is m not. M a harsh gurlz. For those who alr knew me they will understand. I've try my best. I dunno how to put it in words,but deep inside me I wanna b someone else. To be frank I wanna be someone dat can fulfill his requirement. I do feel sad coz I cant be like dat. Sometimes I feel jelez with gurlz who r pretty, gentle, sopan, n baik.

I pray, the one who will be my soul mate will accept me as who i'm. He will be my complement. He nvr complaint about my weaknesses but he helps to cover them. So do I. I pray, I can use my strength to cover his weaknesses. Sweetheart I really need you now.

Wat a Day

How to explain? Feeling happy n bad at the same time. Alhamdullilah I think everything is getting better. I got some new frenz tonite. Yea, as usual they are people that I can call as 'Kenalan'. Really hope they will turn to someone that I can call as ' Kawan ' . Juz now I called my mom. She said dat she had a dream. In dat dream m telling her m going overseas. She juz said, wait for ur dad, let him make his decision. Obviously, I dunno wat is it suppose to meant. Juz pray it is a sign for smthng good. Or perhaps may be a sign dat m going to leave diz world?? I dunno..

Actually m quite frustrated today. Someone promise to buy me a combo of chocolate. But unfortunately I cant get it by today. Have to wait till next week. I think m asking tooooo much from him. Senpai, m really sorry. I think I dont want the chocolate anymore. Juz pay me. Senpai is such a good senior I've. I do meant it. Really sorry. Senpai, plz dont regrt to have a junior like me. hehhehe =)

So sleepy n tired. I had a CIS gathering juz now. Though it is a tiring dinner but I think its quite fun to work wit ppl dat I dont really know and close with. I talk with someone dat I never talk to in class. Wat a day is today? Thank You Allah bcz give me an opportunity to learnt to smile again.

Sad

Diz few days, y do I feel sad. No matter how hard I try to stop my tears, they will come fastly. I misz my family. My mom..my dad and my old frenz. Misz them ol damn much. I feel lonely. I dunno y do I keep crying n crying n crying. Its hard for me. I pretend dat m Ok but my inner part said dat m not Ok. I wish I meet someone who can comfort me, protect me, n give me strength as I wish. I've try my best to be strong but its kill me inside. I do have my rum8, Sopha and my sweetheart here. But I don't wanna burden them anymore. I feel like m taking their time. M burdening them. The truth is, I wish someone beside me who can wipe my tears when m crying, a shoulder dat I can lay at when I feel tired, a hand dat can hug me comfortably when m crying, n eyes dat can give me support when I fall. I do really need diz now. I know dat Allah is owez with me. Angel also with me. I juz pray dat Allah will give me strength to move on n let me bounce back. I juz feel tired of crying. However I cant lie dat crying make me feel better. I juz hope dat, everythng is getting better.

I wish someone can bring back my brightest smile coz I do feel i wanna smile back someday....