Shock

Dunno y I cant sleep tonite. Everyone seems down. My frenz here, my old frenz, my sister here n me myself. I called my primary skul frenz juz now. He sound sad. He try to deny dat he has a problem. I know he has a problem. The way he talk, his voice. Though I cant see his eyes but I know he really2 sad. Finally he tell me wat happnd. M really sorry for him. I understand how he feels. Perhaps we r in the same bots. Everyone are very sensitive nowadays including me of course.

Now its raining. Supposedly it will be very nice to sleep but I juz cant. Perhaps m shock or cant except the fact. My hand still shacking now. Actually juz now I open someone fs. Someone dat really important in my life. Suddenly my tears..... I saw his pic wit a gurlz. Dat gurlz look nice. Really2 diff compared to me.

I feel sad not bcz I cant accept dat he is taking pic wit her. I feel sad bcz she looks like someone dat I wanna b. Honestly, I wanna b a polite gurlz, gentle, being respect, lovable, 'sopan', pretty n etc. But dats not me. Yea I look like so but the truth is m not. M a harsh gurlz. For those who alr knew me they will understand. I've try my best. I dunno how to put it in words,but deep inside me I wanna b someone else. To be frank I wanna be someone dat can fulfill his requirement. I do feel sad coz I cant be like dat. Sometimes I feel jelez with gurlz who r pretty, gentle, sopan, n baik.

I pray, the one who will be my soul mate will accept me as who i'm. He will be my complement. He nvr complaint about my weaknesses but he helps to cover them. So do I. I pray, I can use my strength to cover his weaknesses. Sweetheart I really need you now.