Dear you,
I wish I may share with you what happened and how stressful I am now. With my dad things, my sister, my works and about us. I choose not to think too much but I end up crying. I barely hold it cause I feel like I might be end up a burden to you. I wish you may hear me crying through phone, as you are far far away from me. I wish we can meet up even though just for a while as it distracts me from thinking about my problems. I'm afraid my call or sms will bring us to worst argument. Hence, I choose to remain silence. Stress does make my chest feel painful. Nonetheless, life must go on. I believe, God will helps me to go through all this obstacles.
p/s: watched The Vow and The Proposal. The girls are so lucky =D
Saturday, June 8, 2013
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Inner Strength
Hai people,
Just a quick update, I'll start working next week. sigh I feel more excited than nervous. LoL. For this post I wanna share how do I feel for the past few days. (It will be long post).
I dunno how should I start but for the last few days, I feel sad. From one issue to another issue. It really makes me feel down. However, I do realize one thing. The only man who always with me through thick and thin is my dad. Even though he looks like doesn't really care about me, but when I need him, he always there. Actually, that's how he brought me up. He let me handle my stuff and be independent. However, when I feel in need, I can always ask help from him. He never say that I am annoying but he will be mad if I didn't ask help from him.
Being bashed with something like my past, really makes me wonder. Do I made a wrong decision before? Do I really move on? bla bla bla...Honestly, I am totally not in a good shape (obviously not round). I know I am not perfect. I do have my own weaknesses. I just hope people can accept me as how I am. I didn't ask to be with him, or him or other guy. It just happen. Of course I have option to reject it but by the time I say yes, I don't know what happen before. It makes me think, do I that bad or stupid to be with him or him or other guy?
Talking about my dream man, of course I have long list for his characteristics. However does he exist? I don't know. Tell you what, do you know the different between you like and you love someone? When you like someone, you'll try hard to get him/her but once you win, you don't appreciate him / her. You wanna let everyone know that you are together. If you love someone, you'll try your best to make him/her happy even though you are not. Plus, loving someone doesn't mean he/she will be with you. It is more than enough to see him/her happy even though with someone else.
Insya Allah, I'll keep my inner strength stronger and stronger each day. With support from my parents, sister, friends, insya Allah...what I faced for the past few days will bring fortune to me.
p/s: if you think your neighbour's garden is greener, why don't you take care of your own garden?
Just a quick update, I'll start working next week. sigh I feel more excited than nervous. LoL. For this post I wanna share how do I feel for the past few days. (It will be long post).
I dunno how should I start but for the last few days, I feel sad. From one issue to another issue. It really makes me feel down. However, I do realize one thing. The only man who always with me through thick and thin is my dad. Even though he looks like doesn't really care about me, but when I need him, he always there. Actually, that's how he brought me up. He let me handle my stuff and be independent. However, when I feel in need, I can always ask help from him. He never say that I am annoying but he will be mad if I didn't ask help from him.
Being bashed with something like my past, really makes me wonder. Do I made a wrong decision before? Do I really move on? bla bla bla...Honestly, I am totally not in a good shape (obviously not round). I know I am not perfect. I do have my own weaknesses. I just hope people can accept me as how I am. I didn't ask to be with him, or him or other guy. It just happen. Of course I have option to reject it but by the time I say yes, I don't know what happen before. It makes me think, do I that bad or stupid to be with him or him or other guy?
Talking about my dream man, of course I have long list for his characteristics. However does he exist? I don't know. Tell you what, do you know the different between you like and you love someone? When you like someone, you'll try hard to get him/her but once you win, you don't appreciate him / her. You wanna let everyone know that you are together. If you love someone, you'll try your best to make him/her happy even though you are not. Plus, loving someone doesn't mean he/she will be with you. It is more than enough to see him/her happy even though with someone else.
Insya Allah, I'll keep my inner strength stronger and stronger each day. With support from my parents, sister, friends, insya Allah...what I faced for the past few days will bring fortune to me.
p/s: if you think your neighbour's garden is greener, why don't you take care of your own garden?
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The More The Merrier? Really?
Hai people,
When it comes to celebration, we will invite as many as possible. We will say " the more the merrier". However, is it true? For me, the most important element is the feel of togetherness among the crowd. Like birthday party celebration, do the crowd really want to celebrate or just attending for the sake of be there? In other situation, a family eating together but everyone are busy with their own personal matters. Ermmm I feel weird. As for me, when it comes to celebration like wedding, birthday, hari raya / deepavali / chineese new year / Christmas, farewell or others, I feel like the joy of being together, laughing, chit chatting and harmony are compulsory.
In our daily life, we may not gather as many people as we want but a simple lunch with your colleague(s) will do. Having a chit chat while eating will help in releasing your stress at work. At least you have a break from your works. In different situation, a family having dinner together and everyone share what happened at school or work place. At least create a moment for you to have a quality time with your family. Besides that, a couple who are busy with their own personal life, having a pillow talk over the phone. Not to argue but to share and having some time together especially a long distance relationship.
In my opinion, the more people is not the issue. The most important thing is how you spend your time together. In fact, while you are busy with your works, there will be someone waiting for you, while you are busy telling what happened to you, there will be someone waiting for you to listen, while you are tired with your routine, there will be someone waiting for you to be with.
A casual chit chat over the phone and eat together will do for me. At least it does comfort me and make me feel, I am not alone.
p/s: why we have big brain, two eyes, two ears but only one mouth?
When it comes to celebration, we will invite as many as possible. We will say " the more the merrier". However, is it true? For me, the most important element is the feel of togetherness among the crowd. Like birthday party celebration, do the crowd really want to celebrate or just attending for the sake of be there? In other situation, a family eating together but everyone are busy with their own personal matters. Ermmm I feel weird. As for me, when it comes to celebration like wedding, birthday, hari raya / deepavali / chineese new year / Christmas, farewell or others, I feel like the joy of being together, laughing, chit chatting and harmony are compulsory.
In our daily life, we may not gather as many people as we want but a simple lunch with your colleague(s) will do. Having a chit chat while eating will help in releasing your stress at work. At least you have a break from your works. In different situation, a family having dinner together and everyone share what happened at school or work place. At least create a moment for you to have a quality time with your family. Besides that, a couple who are busy with their own personal life, having a pillow talk over the phone. Not to argue but to share and having some time together especially a long distance relationship.
In my opinion, the more people is not the issue. The most important thing is how you spend your time together. In fact, while you are busy with your works, there will be someone waiting for you, while you are busy telling what happened to you, there will be someone waiting for you to listen, while you are tired with your routine, there will be someone waiting for you to be with.
A casual chit chat over the phone and eat together will do for me. At least it does comfort me and make me feel, I am not alone.
p/s: why we have big brain, two eyes, two ears but only one mouth?
Friday, January 4, 2013
A story of boiling water with carrot, egg and coffee powder
Hello people,
Wanna share with you about an article which I read 1 hour before my chit chat session with TCM today. Actually, I would prefer a new environment with new people and attitude. So here goes the article ( I try to write as far as I remember it).
There is graduate who complaining about her new lifestyle to her mom. She said she hate the traffic jam, her job scopes, salary is low, and bla bla bla. Her mom just silently listen to her. At the same time, her mom boils water separately by using 3 cooking pots. After she felt tired of complaining then she stop. Her mom told her to take carrot, egg and coffee powder. Without asking much (maybe tired of talking LoL) she takes all the 3 items as per requested. Then her mom put the carrot in pot A, egg in pot B and coffee powder in pot C. After few minutes then her mom says" Look at the carrot, egg and coffee. Tell me what happened". The daughter says" carrot became soft, egg became harder and coffee powder dissolve plus the water turn into black". Then her mom continue
"Look sweetheart. Carrot which at first is strong and hard finally become soft when we put it inside the boiling water. So do people. Some people are strong and positive but when there are challenges, pressure and obstacles they became soft, weak and demotivated. Next, the egg. At first it is soft and breakable but after few minutes it became hard and firm. So do people. Some people are soft hearted and kind but they changed. They became stubborn and cruel. Lastly the coffee powder. At first it just a powder which can be sweep away by the air. However, it dissolved, changed the water into black water and produce a good aroma. So do people. They may look weak, no direction in life or maybe look down by others but they can adapt with the environment, do something good when others sabotaj them and persuade or promote others to follow their positive attitude.You choose which one you wanna be in life". -The end-
Almighty Allah says: “…it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing that is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (Al-Baqarah 2:216)
Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”
And I found this from http://www.islamicgarden.com/think.html
"If we fall short and only focus on the hardship and fail to pay attention to the lessons, then we may undergo that hardship without really gaining anything from it. No matter how much we might have to go through, there are always countless things to be grateful for. Sometimes the test is to recognize the blessings and be grateful."
p/s: I don't know why carrot, egg and coffee powder. You may change to other items if you want to... =P
Wanna share with you about an article which I read 1 hour before my chit chat session with TCM today. Actually, I would prefer a new environment with new people and attitude. So here goes the article ( I try to write as far as I remember it).
There is graduate who complaining about her new lifestyle to her mom. She said she hate the traffic jam, her job scopes, salary is low, and bla bla bla. Her mom just silently listen to her. At the same time, her mom boils water separately by using 3 cooking pots. After she felt tired of complaining then she stop. Her mom told her to take carrot, egg and coffee powder. Without asking much (maybe tired of talking LoL) she takes all the 3 items as per requested. Then her mom put the carrot in pot A, egg in pot B and coffee powder in pot C. After few minutes then her mom says" Look at the carrot, egg and coffee. Tell me what happened". The daughter says" carrot became soft, egg became harder and coffee powder dissolve plus the water turn into black". Then her mom continue
"Look sweetheart. Carrot which at first is strong and hard finally become soft when we put it inside the boiling water. So do people. Some people are strong and positive but when there are challenges, pressure and obstacles they became soft, weak and demotivated. Next, the egg. At first it is soft and breakable but after few minutes it became hard and firm. So do people. Some people are soft hearted and kind but they changed. They became stubborn and cruel. Lastly the coffee powder. At first it just a powder which can be sweep away by the air. However, it dissolved, changed the water into black water and produce a good aroma. So do people. They may look weak, no direction in life or maybe look down by others but they can adapt with the environment, do something good when others sabotaj them and persuade or promote others to follow their positive attitude.You choose which one you wanna be in life". -The end-
Almighty Allah says: “…it may be that you dislike a thing which is good for you and that you like a thing that is bad for you. Allah knows but you do not know.” (Al-Baqarah 2:216)
Al-Hasan al-Basri said: “Do not resent the calamities that come and the disasters that occur, for perhaps in something that you dislike will be your salvation, and perhaps in something that you prefer will be your doom.”
And I found this from http://www.islamicgarden.com/think.html
"If we fall short and only focus on the hardship and fail to pay attention to the lessons, then we may undergo that hardship without really gaining anything from it. No matter how much we might have to go through, there are always countless things to be grateful for. Sometimes the test is to recognize the blessings and be grateful."
p/s: I don't know why carrot, egg and coffee powder. You may change to other items if you want to... =P
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Hello 2013!
Hello people,
Happy New Year! I had a feeling this year will be a good and lucky year for me. Why? I have no idea. 2012 left me with lots of funny, sad, and memorable experiences. I feel like it is some sort of yearly journal / diary. So, for the year 2012, I have 365 pages telling what happened to me through out the year.
Starting from January where I back to UTP as a Final Year student. I continue my life as a student. I feel crazy with my FYP plus other courses. I took more credit hours. Can you imagine. Even bear2 told me that, I be a good girl last year cause I rarely go out late at night. I spent most of my time in my room. I get to know new friends. They are nice. I feel young when I hang out with them. Obviously! Cause they are foundation student. When I think about my life as a student, I feel like laughing out loud. Do you know why? Every semester when I register the courses, I promise myself to study early, no last minute works, study before go to the class, be active in class and on top of the list, wanna score A. However, when I reach mid semester, I always skip class (cause lazy to go), study a night before exam/test, do works earliest 2 - 3 days before submissions and of course, never score A. When I reach end of semester (almost final examination), always tell myself that I'm gonna die that semester, will fail that subject this subject, cannot make it as per dateline, or even sometimes, I feel like don't want to do anything. Praise to the Almighty, I survive till the end of my study. I still remember during my convocation day. I told Sopha "Finally! I made it. Every semester I told you that I'm gonna die but luckily I survive till the end". hehehe. That's all about my uni life.
Secondly, I have no idea why I always recall about my past. From how naughty I am during childhood, how I grew up as both my parents are working, my memory with school friends, what happened during my internship, how I start my relationship with him (from the registration day), and lastly about my relationship with Iz. The hardest part of thinking about my relationship with Iz is the feeling of how stupid and childish I am back then. I still remember, there are few days when I think about him, I feel regret with what I did. However, the most painful regret is when I have a thought, why can't I really be friend with Ana? Obviously she is the 3rd party in our relationship but Iz did told me, if he really wanna be with Ana, he choose to be with her since before we are together. Cause they were close since before I'm in a relationship with him. Why do I choose to compete with her? Why don't I choose to be me? If I choose to be friend with her, at least, instead of competing who give the best present to Iz, we can work together to surprise him. sigh! Honestly, if there is time machine where I can go back to those time, I don't wanna go cause I'm glad and happy with what I have now. I have someone to love and to be love. I met awesome people. I feel blessed with those who always there to support me. The most important thing is, I learnt to let mochi2 to have / hang out / help / or anything that can make me feel jealous with his girl friend(s) BUT he must follow the guidelines given to him. LOL.. sounds like QC.
Wishing you best of luck and have fun! another 365 days coming =) Believe me, anyhing happened for reasons. It just a matter of time for you to know the reasons ^_^
p/s: sorry for make it tooooooo long =P
Happy New Year! I had a feeling this year will be a good and lucky year for me. Why? I have no idea. 2012 left me with lots of funny, sad, and memorable experiences. I feel like it is some sort of yearly journal / diary. So, for the year 2012, I have 365 pages telling what happened to me through out the year.
Starting from January where I back to UTP as a Final Year student. I continue my life as a student. I feel crazy with my FYP plus other courses. I took more credit hours. Can you imagine. Even bear2 told me that, I be a good girl last year cause I rarely go out late at night. I spent most of my time in my room. I get to know new friends. They are nice. I feel young when I hang out with them. Obviously! Cause they are foundation student. When I think about my life as a student, I feel like laughing out loud. Do you know why? Every semester when I register the courses, I promise myself to study early, no last minute works, study before go to the class, be active in class and on top of the list, wanna score A. However, when I reach mid semester, I always skip class (cause lazy to go), study a night before exam/test, do works earliest 2 - 3 days before submissions and of course, never score A. When I reach end of semester (almost final examination), always tell myself that I'm gonna die that semester, will fail that subject this subject, cannot make it as per dateline, or even sometimes, I feel like don't want to do anything. Praise to the Almighty, I survive till the end of my study. I still remember during my convocation day. I told Sopha "Finally! I made it. Every semester I told you that I'm gonna die but luckily I survive till the end". hehehe. That's all about my uni life.
Secondly, I have no idea why I always recall about my past. From how naughty I am during childhood, how I grew up as both my parents are working, my memory with school friends, what happened during my internship, how I start my relationship with him (from the registration day), and lastly about my relationship with Iz. The hardest part of thinking about my relationship with Iz is the feeling of how stupid and childish I am back then. I still remember, there are few days when I think about him, I feel regret with what I did. However, the most painful regret is when I have a thought, why can't I really be friend with Ana? Obviously she is the 3rd party in our relationship but Iz did told me, if he really wanna be with Ana, he choose to be with her since before we are together. Cause they were close since before I'm in a relationship with him. Why do I choose to compete with her? Why don't I choose to be me? If I choose to be friend with her, at least, instead of competing who give the best present to Iz, we can work together to surprise him. sigh! Honestly, if there is time machine where I can go back to those time, I don't wanna go cause I'm glad and happy with what I have now. I have someone to love and to be love. I met awesome people. I feel blessed with those who always there to support me. The most important thing is, I learnt to let mochi2 to have / hang out / help / or anything that can make me feel jealous with his girl friend(s) BUT he must follow the guidelines given to him. LOL.. sounds like QC.
Wishing you best of luck and have fun! another 365 days coming =) Believe me, anyhing happened for reasons. It just a matter of time for you to know the reasons ^_^
p/s: sorry for make it tooooooo long =P
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
Miracle
Hai all,
For this entry
I'll write about what I feel and what happened. Honestly, I feel amaze and
proud with someone who really go for her dreams. Of course, people may say
"to gain some, we have to loose some". I believe deep inside her
heart she felt lonely, sad but her spirit to go after her dreams really make
her strong. To her, I pray for your success. I believe you'll achieve your
dreams. I will always support you and be there for you...xoxo =D
As I had completed
my "body building" program, now I'm helping my dad with his extra
class for standard 6 students from his school. Actually, I met them 2
years ago but they still remember me till today. I feel touched by those kids.
They came from poor – average family income. Some of them having more than 5
siblings. I would say, they have less exposure compared to kids from town. As
ice breaking session I asked them 5 questions:
1. What is your name?
2. Why do you want to get 5A?
3. Where do you want to go after primary
school?
4. What is your ambition?
5. Parents occupation
What I can conclude from my session with them today is they have
spirit, courage and dreams but they need help to boost up their abilities. It’s
not that they can’t solve the mathematics questions but they are bit slow. It’s not
that they don’t have future in their mind but they are still kids who are
learning about life. Insya Allah, I will try my best to help, guide and motivate
them. I don’t mind if people may assume, I'm doing this for the sake of my
popularity or want to show off. My intention is to help students from kampung to
achieve their dreams. Pray for them.
Lastly, I want to share about a Malay movie entitle “Istanbul Aku
Datang” (Istanbul Here I come). Even though the story doesn't really suit with
malay culture but I love the story line. How a girl flies all the way from
Malaysia to Istanbul to meet her boyfriend with hope he will propose her. Facing
lots of difficulties. She is accused as unfaithful by her boyfriend which in
fact her boyfriend is having fair with another girl. He said he was lonely and
has no one to talk to. It sounds familiar to me though =D. The girl is shown as
someone who is independent, soft but not weak.
I think I better stop now cause tomorrow I have to wake up fresh.
Wish me luck ^_^
p/s: I will know what I should when I follow what my heart say.
Its called instinct.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The road taken
Dear all,
This few days, I feel disturbed with some sort of demotivated things. This entry will be a very long entry.
Since primary school, I feel like I was surrounded with pretty girls excluded me. Being a boyish kid make me feel more comfortable to have boys as friends. Nevertheless, it does affect my personality back then. I am talkative, playful, rough, and sometimes bit rude. However, deep in my heart, I do feel like I wanna be like those pretty girls. As I skip from standard 3 to standard 5, hence I have 2 group of friends: those who are same age as me and those who are same batch as me. So, during primary school I am popular not because I am good in my study or cause I am pretty but because I always fight with guys and they really love to tease me.
Standard six ( some of my classmate )
after 10 years
Then I continued my life as a high school student. I decided to change my personality. I became more passive, less friends, and just follow with the flow. Out of nowhere I became more sensitive, secretive, and defensive. I build up wall so people wont see the real me. At first I blame the environment. As I grow older, I realise that, I should never change how I am even though the environment is not as the same as during primary school. My high school life is dull. I just study for the sake of results. Obviously, I am not top scorer in my class. Never ever reach top 5 in class and rarely get attention from my teachers. However, everything changed when I was in Form 4 and Form 5. There are few situations that challenge me:
1. I was applying for boarding school and the teacher said straight to my face " with ur result, never have dream to be in boarding school ". By that time, my PMR result is 7A 2B
2. I asked my friend who are top scorer in my class to teach me then he said " U asked me this kind of question?" and including those who just ignore my questions
3. I asked my friends, how they got an interview with petronas through their SPM trial result and they said " its nothing to do with you"
Included those I didn't list here, I decided that I will make them amaze with me one day. I still remember one of my teacher challenge me and say " how come u wanna break district record even u cant even break school record?" During my high school life, I start to learnt on how people compete and step on others to be on top. After my bounced period, my score getting better. However, I lost my friend. She felt jealous cause guys start to be close with me. It was funny though. We continue our life but I can feel her eagerness to fight. Well, it is a good competition.
Alhamdullilah. When SPM result out, I was announced as top 10 best student in my school. It was unexpected. Besides I am mentally abuse by friends and teachers, I am emotionally disturbed with some sort of personal matters. I met my teachers and said " I didnt break district or school records but I prove that, I'm not that bad". I personally received my SPM result from teacher who said my result is not good enough to be in boarding school. The best part is, my best friend hug me and said " za, congratulations. I try to fight with u but seems like I lost and I am sorry".
the best picture I have during high school (Form 5)
Alhamdullilah. Next, I continued my life as UTP student. I still remember when I told my high school friends that I am UTP student. They were shocked. Obviously, I look like someone who doesn't deserve to even pass the interview. In UTP, I develop totally a different me. I force myself to talk with strangers, be active and talkative. I guess, I don't have to repeat what I had gone through in UTP as most of my blog entries are about my life in UTP. One thing that I realize, most of my friends in UTP are either top scorer or those with unique background and personality. Obviously I am not the first option. hehehe..
foundation
This few days, I feel disturbed with some sort of demotivated things. This entry will be a very long entry.
Since primary school, I feel like I was surrounded with pretty girls excluded me. Being a boyish kid make me feel more comfortable to have boys as friends. Nevertheless, it does affect my personality back then. I am talkative, playful, rough, and sometimes bit rude. However, deep in my heart, I do feel like I wanna be like those pretty girls. As I skip from standard 3 to standard 5, hence I have 2 group of friends: those who are same age as me and those who are same batch as me. So, during primary school I am popular not because I am good in my study or cause I am pretty but because I always fight with guys and they really love to tease me.
Then I continued my life as a high school student. I decided to change my personality. I became more passive, less friends, and just follow with the flow. Out of nowhere I became more sensitive, secretive, and defensive. I build up wall so people wont see the real me. At first I blame the environment. As I grow older, I realise that, I should never change how I am even though the environment is not as the same as during primary school. My high school life is dull. I just study for the sake of results. Obviously, I am not top scorer in my class. Never ever reach top 5 in class and rarely get attention from my teachers. However, everything changed when I was in Form 4 and Form 5. There are few situations that challenge me:
1. I was applying for boarding school and the teacher said straight to my face " with ur result, never have dream to be in boarding school ". By that time, my PMR result is 7A 2B
2. I asked my friend who are top scorer in my class to teach me then he said " U asked me this kind of question?" and including those who just ignore my questions
3. I asked my friends, how they got an interview with petronas through their SPM trial result and they said " its nothing to do with you"
Included those I didn't list here, I decided that I will make them amaze with me one day. I still remember one of my teacher challenge me and say " how come u wanna break district record even u cant even break school record?" During my high school life, I start to learnt on how people compete and step on others to be on top. After my bounced period, my score getting better. However, I lost my friend. She felt jealous cause guys start to be close with me. It was funny though. We continue our life but I can feel her eagerness to fight. Well, it is a good competition.
Alhamdullilah. When SPM result out, I was announced as top 10 best student in my school. It was unexpected. Besides I am mentally abuse by friends and teachers, I am emotionally disturbed with some sort of personal matters. I met my teachers and said " I didnt break district or school records but I prove that, I'm not that bad". I personally received my SPM result from teacher who said my result is not good enough to be in boarding school. The best part is, my best friend hug me and said " za, congratulations. I try to fight with u but seems like I lost and I am sorry".
Alhamdullilah. Next, I continued my life as UTP student. I still remember when I told my high school friends that I am UTP student. They were shocked. Obviously, I look like someone who doesn't deserve to even pass the interview. In UTP, I develop totally a different me. I force myself to talk with strangers, be active and talkative. I guess, I don't have to repeat what I had gone through in UTP as most of my blog entries are about my life in UTP. One thing that I realize, most of my friends in UTP are either top scorer or those with unique background and personality. Obviously I am not the first option. hehehe..
convocation bachelor (Hons) ICT
So, what are those demotivated things? The feeling of being tease, look down at and ugly. Sometimes people just say something for the sake of joking. Nevertheless, if too much of something, you may be annoyed. This entry is not to be proud of myself but to share my journey of life before I receive my scroll. I may look arrogant ( or maybe I am ) but if they know what I had gone through since I am kid, perhaps they will re-consider to classify me as arrogant.
Lastly, everyone deserve to be successful. What you have is doesn't matter, how you use does. Always keep reminding yourself, my ambition is to be_______ in this world and want to be one of companions of the garden (ahli syurga) in hereafter.
p/s: never give up
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